The Muse and Views

Just over a year ago, Wendy and I co-wrote On The Quest For Purpose where we committed to get back to blogging regularly with a vision of meeting our original goal of using the content from our writing toward a motivational/inspirational book(s).

Well, life continued to get in the way for both of us and, in my case, the diagnosis of cancer for my wife, Joyce, in April 2021, and her passing away in March, took my creative writing mojo away.

Wendy and I met virtually recently and decided we’d renew our pledge to write together again starting with sharing our thoughts on significant losses in our lives, including Joyce’s death.

We’ll do that soon, but I wanted to use this space to honour her. May was always our month for celebration with Mother’s Day, our anniversary and Joyce’s birthday.

Joyce would want me to carry on with this blog project and my professional writing, too. I thought reflecting on some of the music we chose for her Celebration of Life and reception would be a great way to pay tribute.

Consider this Part 2 of a blog I published on May 31, 2010 about what music means to me: https://themuseandviews.wordpress.com/2010/05/31/music-makes-the-moment/

Looking back, some of the songs featured in that blog were incidentally part of the playlist when we paid our respects to Joyce on March 16. Some were tunes by performers we’d seen in concert – Elton John, Fleetwood Mac, and Don Mangan.

Here are my musings on a few of the selections.

Morning Has Broken – Cat Stevens

Joyce originally wanted this song played at our wedding. However, we opted to have a late afternoon.

It’s a song praising the wonders of nature and a new start with the dawn of each day. Joyce loved the outdoors and hiking. She was definitely much more of a morning person than I am.

The song is especially meaningful. Our wedding anniversary is on May 17. We’d have been married 36 years on that date.

Over the years, we moved across the country and returned to Alberta, produced son, Peter, made some wonderful friendships, and enjoyed many travel adventures, including to some concerts, though we never got overseas, sadly.

We’d planned to relocate to Vancouver Island this year. Joyce will be pleased to know some of her ashes have already been spread there.

Stand By Me – Ben E. King

Joyce was always there for me, even when she didn’t agree with me on a course of action.

She lived through a challenging point of my career with me and was not only a supportive wife, but she threw on her employment counsellor hat to help me find solutions.

She showed her strength right up to the last night of her life. Ironically while staff at the Grande Prairie Regional Hospital were rushing to inject pain medication into her, she was repeatedly urging them to find food for her diabetic husband who hadn’t eaten for hours.

Bridge Over Troubled Waters – Simon & Garfunkel

Like the last song, Joyce was my bridge. I always knew I could count on her. I didn’t even need to tell her when I was troubled. She just knew.

Keep Me In Your Heart – Warren Zevon

This song has always brought tears to my eyes. It was written after the musician knew he had cancer so now I have even more reason to feel connected.

Joyce, you will be in my heart forever.

Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac

While several of the songs at the Celebration of Life were more introspective, this one’s more upbeat and suits Joyce’s mindset, always finding the positive in situations.

Even in her waning weeks. She continued to talk about relocation plans and was getting listings from realtors in favourite spots.

Joyce’s mission was to be not defined by her diagnosis. She wasn’t, working up until days before her passing, despite being in a lot of pain.

Always On My Mind – Willie Nelson

This song wasn’t on our playlist but I cited it in my tribute. It’s a reminder we can always be better, no matter how much we love someone.

Honourable Mentions

For the music buffs in our readership, here’s the rest of the playlist:

Basket – Dan Mangan

Your Song – Elton John

Here Comes the Sun Again – M. Ward

If you See Her, Say Hello – Bob Dylan

The Night We Met – Lord Huron (featuring Phoebe Bridgers)

I’ll Be Seeing You – Billie Holliday

So Far away – Carole King

Farewell, Not Goodbye

Joyce always said I could throw out a song lyric at the drop of a hat. Well, dear, here’s a couple more for you until we meet again.

I told a friend that I was writing this blog. She mentioned Frank Sinatra’s My Way would be a choice for her celebration. It would’ve fit Joyce, too. I’m in awe of how she managed those last days.

Lastly, Joyce, it seems most appropriate to sign off with Chicago’s Wishing You Were Here.