The Muse and Views

In September, David wrote a letter in this space to his late wife, Joyce, to begin a series he and Wendy are producing on dealing with loss. That piece marked the six-month mark of her passing. Today, it’s 34 years since David’s father, Bob Olinger Sr. died, so he’s sending his thoughts to his Dad.

We’ll continue the series in the coming weeks. Admittedly, it’s been tough to share personal feelings for loved ones broadly. We hope our letters help others contemplate their losses and find strength. We will also be featuring inclusions from other friends.

Dear Dad,

It’s been quite some time since I’ve written formally to you, though I do think of you often.

As time goes on, I remain very aware of how you helped to shape my life and I know that you continue to influence me from above.

Though I mark your passing every year on this day, it seems even more meaningful today with Joyce’s short illness and death last March. It was a stark reminder of just how precious life is. Unlike with you, I did get to tell her how much I loved her. You were gone instantly and I was three provinces away.

Every time I hear The Living Years by Mike + The Mechanics (https://bit.ly/3HEOA0I), I think of you and the unsaid words I’d love to have imparted on you.

The night you left us all too suddenly, you’d just attended your first NHL game with Bob Olinger Jr., a match between the Calgary Flames and Chicago Blackhawks. Sadly, you never got to see your beloved Montreal Canadiens in person and I have a few times. Alas, our Habs are not doing well again this season and have only won the Cup once since your passing. Maybe next year!

I naturally adopted several aspects of how you lived such as looking out for others. One of the things I learned from observation is to try to balance life, though I know I could have well beyond what I did. You were pretty focused on your job and never found ways to explore pastimes you’d probably have really enjoyed.

I’ve attended many sporting events and concerts and travelled across our country extensively to get more out of life. That I know there was much more to do underlines the importance of not putting off dreams.

The hope is, as each generation passes, we discover ways to emulate the best of those who’ve come before us and see how we can enjoy our time on earth even more.

Joyce and I had hopes of international travel in the coming years. COVID and her illness cut all that short. Ironically, son Peter and his partner, Mara, are in New Zealand as I write. That was a country on our bucket list.

I’ve noticed many more ironies lately. Peter’s been accepted into Vancouver Island University to pursue a teaching degree this fall. You always wanted me to be a teacher. Though I never followed that career path, I did mentor many people in my career, worked within a school system and volunteered for an adult education agency.

I’ve also relocated to Kelowna to be closer to Peter and enjoy a different lifestyle with warmer weather. You didn’t get the opportunity to retire to the place you’d purchased in nearby Westbank. I have connected with some of your brother John’s family to re-establish some missing family linkages.

Dad, I’m pleased I picked up on many of your traits and found ways to live life much more fully. Just as I wonder what Joyce would do in certain situations, I will continue to seek your guidance from the heavens. Please give her a hug for me.

Missing you today and always.

Love, David