I doubt that’s possible… or do I?
February 17, 2010 § 1 Comment
There are times where it can be easy for me to get caught up in the mechanics of a situation. There are details I just haven’t figured out yet, and I get so focused on trying to find a solution that I miss out on everything else that’s going on. Right now, for instance, I’m fumbling. I have an idea of where I’d like to go, and for most of last year I was just out in the world, doing my thing, going wherever the wind took me. Because I figured if that’s where the wind blew me, then that must be the place for me to be.
As much as I talk about being clear about choices, and trusting yourself and your instincts, I think an important part of this process is knowing that at some point, you may fumble. How is it possible to be so sure of oneself if you haven’t spent any time being unsure? The questions milling about in my head right now are ranging on all levels. From relationships, to music, to career. I’m questioning my choices, I’m looking at where I’ve been and I’m wondering if where I’ve been headed all of this time is still where I want to go.
Is it possible to devote my spare time and energy to build a company, write a blog that will turn into a book, follow my heart further down the musical path it loves so much and still have time for quality friendships and relationships? Many people over the last couple of years have told me “no, no it isn’t possible.” And yet, I’ve found some that tell me “of course it is.”
I’m in a moment right now, that I don’t know which one of those sides to believe. I’m doubting the truth of everything I’ve said so far. And yet now that I’ve put those doubts into words, I wonder just how true they are? Or if I’m just looking for a way to prove the rest of the world right. The ones who say it’s not possible. The ones who can lull me back to a spot of complacency.
Part of living the life of my dreams has been about recognizing everything I might be feeling at one moment or another. Knowing that there will be moments that I doubt myself and my abilities, but having the strength to acknowledge it, but not to give in to it.
Doubt is as much a part of the process as belief. It’s as natural a feeling as any other. It can be what gets in our way, what stops us from continuing on down the path to what we want. But it can also serve as a valuable check and balance. Whenever you are at a place of doubt, don’t just banish it from your thoughts, but don’t get caught up in it either. Stop, observe it, explore where it’s coming from. It crept into your mind for one reason or another. Take it as a sign to check in. See what the situation is around you, see if what you want still fits, or if new opportunities have arisen that change your game plan.
Just as light cannot exist without dark, the good is never good unless measured against the bad, belief cannot exist without doubt. Use it to your advantage and then decide which one you’d like to prove right… what you believe… or what you doubt. Consciously pick one. And I think you’ll find your proof either way.
Our four legged friends
January 18, 2010 § 8 Comments
Last fall, David asked me for my opinion and some ideas on a piece about pets. The library in Grande Prairie does a writing competition every year, and this year pets were the topics. I’ve always felt that pets are an important part of a person’s life for those of us that have them. They can bring us great joy, they can disarm even the most protected person, and we can learn so much from them.
It was my last at home (home being my mom’s place) over the holidays before heading back to Calgary. I had just returned home from Edmonton and there was a cute waggily tail waiting to greet me at the back door. I let Tetris into the back porch so we could properly greet one another without the discomforts of the cold outdoors. That waggily tail continued to wag, and as usual, Tetris was beside herself with joy to see me. She eventually calmed down and became the sweetest dog in the world (and no I’m not biased at all).
As I sat in the doorway petting her and scratching her belly, I noticed just how relaxed and at peace I was with her. It’s taken me a long time to become that way with other human beings, but with a pet it’s just so natural. I remembered a friend in Calgary mentioning once that she wished she could be as at home with herself with the rest of the world as she is when she’s hanging out with her four legged friend. What is it about a pet that can only bring out the best in us?
A dog operates from only one place. They don’t know how to lie or deceive, they are easily hurt, but trust again just as readily. They will always be home to greet you, even on the days you may have parted on a harsh word because they left a spot on your tie… or chewed up one of your favourite shoes. And yet, they remain a source of love and affection. That’s what being on the receiving end of unconditional love is like. Imagine if most people operated from the same plane. Where those you interact with are not a source of distrust or stress, but such an unfathomably endless well of joyful emotion, that you know no matter what you do, they love you anyway.
This is the lesson I learn and relearn from Tetris every time I’m back home. The ability to open myself up and accept her the way she is… holes in the backyard, mud on my jeans and everything… and allow her to accept me the way I am… messy apartment, laundry that’s never done… and everything. It is easier done with a dog, they don’t have the capacity to judge. But what if we refrained from judging one another as well? How much easier would it be? How much farther ahead would the world be because we trusted one another and weren’t scared to be who we are?
The Freedom in Letting Go
January 3, 2010 § 7 Comments
I used to think it was about letting go. That when people left us, we had to let them go. They were gone. They were lost. Maybe they died, maybe they simply fell out of our lives. My biggest challenge used to be letting go.
Before I moved to Calgary and after my brother died, I lived in his condo for a year. I was holding on. I was holding on so tightly. Had it not been for my mother’s somewhat more than gentle push to get out of Millet, I would’ve stayed. I would’ve held on. Because I thought that if I held on tightly enough, it would mean that I wouldn’t ever forget him. It would mean that I’d never actually have to lose him. And then maybe I wouldn’t have to miss him as much.
A voice inside my head kept telling me that I had to let go. I had to move on with my life. In fact that’s what we tend to hear from others trying to offer support, trying to breath some life back into us. And maybe it is about letting go, at least to an extent. I couldn’t hold onto what life was. It couldn’t be the same, no matter how tightly I grasped at what I could. When I left Millet, I hadn’t let go yet. My parents and I kept his condo for a good six months, I went back almost every weekend and hung on.
I can’t pinpoint the exact time I began to let go, but I do remember the first time I was able to look at his picture and feel him smiling at me and be able to smile back, not from a place of sorrow, but from a place of happy memory. I felt like he was telling me that I was okay. I was through the woods. I was headed uphill back to what life used to be like.
Today, I picked up his pocket watch. It stopped ticking a long time ago, and I’ve never bothered to replace the battery. As I thumbed the texture on the casing, examined the still hands, I realized something. It is not the ticking of the hands that made the pocket watch a pocket watch. I’ve carried it with me on occasion even without the ticking hands. And just as the pocket watch remains what it is, so to does Wayne. My brother is still my brother. And I can bring him with me whenever I need to. It’s not about holding on anymore. I had to learn to let him go to get to the place that I found he is still here, though he may not tick, he can still exist as whatever I need him to be.
The last week of 2009…
December 28, 2009 § 8 Comments
It’s the last week of 2009. This Christmas has been rare in that I haven’t gotten caught up in all of the hubbub. My stress levels have been at an all time low. I’ve enjoyed every moment, every person, and every morsel of food more than I ever have. And now, with the year on its final legs, I think I’m going to take this week to relive and relish the highlights of 2009, and decide how I will set the stage for 2010.
One way people attempt to start out a new year is with resolutions. And while the intentions behind resolutions are usually good, so many people have set themselves up for failure. The reasons for not following through on a resolution depend on person to person. For me, I think it’s been because there’s always that expectation that you try hard to follow through, but nobody ever actually makes them, so if you give up on your resolutions after a month or two… well, heck, at least you tried, right? This year, I want my resolutions to stick. And so they won’t be resolutions. Because taking one day out of the year to look at what you want and setting a goal isn’t enough. It takes changing our day to day to really make change in our lives.
I’ve been coming across the quote from Ghandi a lot lately “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” That has been my focus for 2009, and will continue to be my focus in 2010. Finding alignment in my own life and in what I want to see in the world. Being the change.
During the last couple of months, David and I have been talking about a New Year’s feature to do. We’ve gone to our networks for some feedback, and thought through a couple of iterations of what this might look like. We will be kicking off the New year with a bit of an experiment. Over the course of the first 10 weeks in 2010, we’ll be posting 10 Things to Inspire and Motivate in 2010.
All the best for a motivational and inspirational New Year.
Channel Surfing
December 14, 2009 § 3 Comments
It’s another boring night with nothing on. You’re on your couch passively flipping through the channels, trying to find something that will spark your interest for at least a minute. But as you go, the more you surf, the less you find, and the less you pay attention. You get lulled into a sense that there’s never anything on. And so you continue to move through channels, now at lightning speed. Click. Click. Click. Wait, what’s that? Nope, I’ve seen that before. Click.
Sometimes you settle on something to watch for a few minutes before passively clicking through to the next channel, but every now and again you hit the right frequency with that click and come across a program that piques your interest. It’s not that you were looking for this specific program, in fact you probably didn’t really know what you were looking for. But here it is. Out all of the hundreds of channels at all of the different times of day you’ve been through, for once, here it is.
I’ve been thinking about my life in terms of frequency lately. What frequency am I on? Do I like what I’m seeing? If I don’t, I change the channel until I find something that resonates with me.
There’s a bit of singing advice I heard from Matt Good that fits well here too. In order to get the most out of your voice and to hit all of the high notes, he’s learnt to sing from a place where his voice resonates inside of his mind, not from his vocal chords. He said that’s why Thom Yorke from Radiohead is always moving his head around so much. He’s finding the spots in which his voice hits just the right frequency.
Imagine the practice it takes to find that. Imagine the kind of head space you’ve got to be in to make that work. For me, that’s not from a knowing space, that’s from a feeling space. That’s being aware of your own mind enough to hear when those notes hit the right spot. And that may take some searching and practicing to find. But once you do, it’s pure gold.
Think of this now in terms of finding yourself through life, finding a point where things can resonate for you. You’ll need to have your feelers on as well as your thinking cap for this one. Think about how off life can feel when you’re not tuned into the right frequency, but how easy it is to just pick up the remote and change the channel until you like what’s on. Once you’re there, you stay for awhile, if it’s really good, you’ll come back and watch it again. So try that with your life, the more you find what feels right, what strikes a chord in you somewhere, the more your going to want to come back to that. The more you come back to that, the more you’ll like what you see. And soon, you may just find yourself another step closer to living passionately.
The Buck Starts Here…
November 30, 2009 § 12 Comments
The more I continue to learn and observe and grow and share, the more apparent it is to me that there is at least one fundamental, undeniable truth about life. That anything in my life is happening because of me. I really am at the centre of my own universe. That isn’t meant in an egotistical way… but everything that I am, everything that I believe, every choice that I make impacts my path into the future in some way. And just as I have the control to create certain scenarios in my life, I also have the control to stop them.
Part of being in control of my own life and my own destiny is being aware of myself, my triggers, my actions, my desires, my needs, my wants, my current situation and where I want to go, the disconnects, the bridges built, celebrating successes, appreciating the present and still moving towards the future. Everything is so interconnected, and it all flows out from one place. Me.
Granted, there are elements outside of my control that contribute to where I am in a particular moment. But I truly believe that what is crossing my path today is a result of something I put out into the world yesterday. With this thought in mind, the choices I am making today reflect where I want to be tomorrow.
I ran into an old employer once who asked me how I was doing and my reply was something along the lines of “still changing the world.” He laughed and responded “young people always think they’re going to change the world. Let me know how it’s going in another 10 years.”
Well, it’s not 10 years later, but it’s 2 years later. And I think I’m changing the world more now than I was then. Because each of us has an impact on where the world goes. I’ve been surprised recently with the changes others are inspired to make in their own lives as a result of the changes I’ve made in mine and my willingness and openness to share my experiences as I’m doing them.
And so, I’m moving forward, at the centre of my own universe, making positive changes in myself that then ripple out and change the world around me. And those changes create new situations and present me with new paths to explore and new choices I can make. All because I figured out that the buck doesn’t just stop here… it starts here too.
Generations and inspirations
November 23, 2009 § 5 Comments
It’s a rare, rainy October night. Usually by now, there’s snow covering the ground, no rain drops falling against my window in a steady stream. It’s about the time of night, although not the time of year, when I would wake up to the sound of big, wet rain drops hitting the eaves trough outside my window. I would lay there for a few moments, just listening, and then I would grab a blanket and head upstairs and out the backdoor. I loved watching for lightning and listening to the rain with my Dad. He was usually already out there.
We didn’t usually say anything, my Dad has never been much of a talker. But we would sit and listen, for what felt like hours at a time. I found so much peace in those moments… such rare, wonderful moments.
It’s that same feeling of inner peace and contentment that I feel now, wrapped in the silent blanket that the wee hours bring. I always find inspiration in these moments, and the memory of listening to the rain with my dad always finds its way in too.
He’s part of what inspires me. His caring strength, and quiet nature have taught me to find a different kind of appreciation in observing the details, and keeping them as they are, the way nature intended, following the natural flow and evolution of what’s come before them.
That, I would say, is one of the corner stones by which I live my life, by finding joy and beauty in the details. My Dad has taught me to take a step back when nobody else thinks to, to contemplate what’s in front of me and not take it for granted. And to always find a way back to myself, back to where I’m peaceful.
It all makes a neat little circle. Observing the details, finding rare moments, being at peace.
So if you ever find yourself caught up in something, look around you, is anyone else paying attention? Maybe you’ll find a little piece of the world to capture as well, a piece that’s just for you. Your anchor to a moment of inspiration, or calm. Take a look. See what you find.
In search of myself
November 2, 2009 § 9 Comments
The search for myself is a long one. I keep finding myself in so many different places and at so many different times that I wonder when I’ll stop and stand still for a moment… or if I’m destined to keep moving.. and keep myself in search of me along the way.
I once had a pretty specific belief about life. I always believed that things would work themselves out how I had envisioned them. The belief in whatever I was working towards just had to be strong enough. If it was a relationship, my love just had to be deep enough. If it was work, my desire had to be true enough to keep me motivated. But somehow, what I pictured would come true.
People talk so much about life defining moments and how you don’t really know you’re in one until after it’s passed you by. I think I’m in one right now, at my laptop, writing this blog post. I’ve just finished writing up some other draft posts. And there’s this feeling in my gut that nothing will be the same after tonight.
My life defining moments in my mere 27.5 years on earth have been few… in fact, there are two:
My first big trip overseas without my parents: I went to Indonesia when I was 14 to visit a childhood friend who had moved there with her parents. The experience of such a different culture in and of itself inspired further trips and led to my BComm with a major in International Business and a further desire to wander the globe.
The death of my brother in 2004: If ever there’s a way to flip somebody’s world upside down, it’s to experience the death of a sibling so young. Not that I have any experience with losing a sibling when I’m older… but this event rocked me to my core and has influenced every single decision I’ve made since then.
The 2nd moment I would say has brought me the most mileage. In the last 5 years, there hasn’t been a single aspect of my life that hasn’t been influenced by him in some way. And yet, I continue to search, and I won’t stand still. I often wonder if this is a direct result of that, and if someday someone will be able to stop me dead in my tracks and to be happy and content with where I’m at… or if that has forever shaped the way I view life, and my continual search for something more. Finding purpose in my life, if you will.
I’m not sure what the outcome will be, but one thing I know, is that I’m continuously finding moments where I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be. And it’s always in different situations and with different people, but that keeps me going… and because my circumstance is always changing, it keeps me in search of myself.
It’s also changed the shape of my belief on life. There’s more to it. But finding a happy and fulfilling life for me is about discovering the things I didn’t know about myself, finding the gifts I have to offer the world and maximizing that contribution, and being flexible and nimble enough to change my responses and actions based on the situation around me. We’ve only got one shot at the life we’re living… what are you doing with yours?
What’s in a word?
October 5, 2009 § 1 Comment
When everything I tweet about is interesting, eventually I need a new word for interesting, because the meaning I once held with the word ‘interesting’ has been diminished and diluted by my own abuse of it.
What’s in a word?
So often companies and individuals alike have a list of the words we use and the words we don’t use. Over time these lists have developed as we have tied certain meanings to each of the words and attempted to create our own identities and brands. Using ‘proud’ vs. ‘pleased’. Eliminating negative words, ‘I don’t want any debt’ vs. ‘I will be abundant’.
Words are what help us to frame our world, our perceptions and our existence. Words can have a variety of different meanings for the person using them depending on what our past experience has been. ‘Dog’ can instill fear in someone who was bitten as a child, or joy in someone who grew up with a family pet. ‘Party’ can mean a great time to some, but petrify those who don’t like crowds.
Catch phrases can often become tiresome to the user and listener alike. For example, I find so many things ‘interesting’ on the web. But because I use it so often as a quick description of what I just read, the meaning I once held with the word ‘interesting’ has been diminished and diluted by my own abuse of it.
There are also plenty of words that I have chosen to banish from my vocabulary because of the connotations I associate with them: don’t, need, should, have to. To me these are negative words, and they attract negative elements. Don’t think about an apple. Don’t focus on the negative. Focus on the positive. Which sentence actually entices you to think positively?
My day to day is continually bombarded with a variety of statements, but as I begin to question my own outlook and use of vocabulary, I begin to question the use of words by others and the motivations behind it. Whenever someone says to me ‘You should be doing this’ or ‘You need to try this’, those to me are trigger words to stop and ask ‘why?’ Is their suggestion something that will actually help me? Or do they have something to gain from my actions? And if they do, is it a win/win scenario? Or focused solely around their own wants?
Words are funny things. Their use and their interpretations, whether consciously or unconsciously, influence so much of our day to day. What words would you consider ‘trigger’ words? What words have you eliminated from your vocabulary? And vice versa, are there any words you attempt to use more often?
To whoever gets my dog…
October 2, 2009 § 3 Comments
This isn’t my story. I received it a couple of days ago in an email. And it made me think about how many times I jump to conclusions about something before I know the full story. Sometimes, we can only dig so far before a decision must be made… but sometimes it’s worth digging a little deeper. Hope you enjoy the read… Wendy
TO WHOEVER GETS MY DOG
They told me the big black Lab’s name was Reggie as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, and the people really friendly. I’d only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street. But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn’t hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie’s advertisement on the local news.
The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn’t look like “Lab people,” whatever that meant. They must’ve thought I did. At first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys (almost all of which were brand new tennis balls), his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner.
See, Reggie and I didn’t really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike. For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls – he wouldn’t go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn’t really think he’d need all his old stuff, that I’d get him new things once he settled in. But it soon became clear that he wasn’t going to. I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like “sit” and “stay” and “come” and “heel,” and he’d follow them – when he felt like it. He never really seemed to listen when I called his name – sure, he’d look in my direction after the fourth of fifth time I said it, but then he’d just go back to doing whatever. When I’d ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey. This just wasn’t going to work.
He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell. The friction got so bad that I couldn’t wait for the two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search mode for my cellphone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the “damn dog probably hid it on me.”
Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter’s number, I also found his pad and other toys from the shelter.. I tossed the pad in Reggie’s direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I’d seen since bringing him home. But then I called, “Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come here and I’ll give you a treat.” Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction – maybe “glared” is more accurate – and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down. With his back to me. “Well, that’s not going to do it either,” I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number. I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that, too. “Okay, Reggie,” I said out loud, “let’s see if your previous owner has any advice.”
To Whoever Gets My Dog: Well, I can’t say that I’m happy you’re reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie’s new owner. I’m not even happy writing it. If you’re reading this, it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab after dropping him off at the shelter. He knew something was different. I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip, but this time… it’s like he knew something was wrong. And something is wrong… which is why I have to go to try to make it right.
So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you. First, he loves tennis balls… the more the merrier. Sometimes I think he’s part squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn’t done it yet. Doesn’t matter where you throw them, he’ll bound after it, so be careful – really don’t do it by any roads. I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.
Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I’ll go over them again: Reggie knows the obvious ones – “sit,” “stay,” “come,” “heel.” He knows hand signals: “back” to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and “over” if you put your hand out right or left. “Shake” for shaking water off, and “paw” for a high-five. He does “down” when he feels like lying down – I bet you could work on that with him some more. He knows “ball” and “food” and “bone” and “treat” like nobody’s business. I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.
Feeding schedule: twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six in the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand. He’s up on his shots. Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they’ll make sure to send you reminders for when he’s due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car – I don’t know how he knows when it’s time to go to the vet, but he knows.
Finally, give him some time. I’ve never been married, so it’s only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He’s gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn’t bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially. Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new. And that’s why I need to share one more bit of info with you…. His name’s not Reggie.
I don’t know what made me do it, but when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie. He’s a smart dog, he’ll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. but I just couldn’t bear to give them his real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I’d never see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it means everything’s fine. But if someone else is reading it, well… well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It’ll help you bond with him. Who knows, maybe you’ll even notice a change in his demeanor if he’s been giving you problems. His real name is Tank. Because that is what I drive.
Again, if you’re reading this and you’re from the area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn’t make “Reggie” available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could’ve left Tank with… and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter… in the “event”… to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he’d do it personally. And if you’re reading this, then he made good on his word.
Well, this letter is getting to downright depressing, even though, frankly, I’m just writing it for my dog. I couldn’t imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family. But still, Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me. That unconditional love from a dog is what I took with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things… and to keep those terrible people from coming over here.
If I had to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He was my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades. All right, that’s enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. I don’t think I’ll say another good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first time. Maybe I’ll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth. Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight – every night – from me.
Thank you, Paul Mallory
I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer. I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.
“Hey, Tank,” I said quietly.
The dog’s head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.
“C’mere boy.”
He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn’t heard in months.
“Tank,” I whispered.
His tail swished. I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him.
“It’s me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me.”
Tank reached up and licked my cheek.
“So whatdaya say we play some ball?”
His ears perked again.
“Yeah, ball. You like that ball. ”
Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room. And when he came back……he had three tennis balls in his mouth.