What Is Your Vibe?
November 12, 2019 § 2 Comments
A fe
w months ago, Larry Arrance, an employment workshop facilitator colleague in Kelowna, B.C., put out this question on LinkedIn: “If you’re not spreading hope, what are you spreading?”
I’ve been pondering that question a lot since then and now is a great time to explore the subject. Co-author Wendy Peters and I have reached the 10-year anniversary of The Muse and Views, created to build content for an inspirational book(s). Larry’s query fits perfectly into our theme.
I asked Larry recently to spell out what his take was on the question. He responded, “For myself, I’ve found hope to be a powerful catalyst to get people to be open to positive changes. A hopeless situation or attitude causes people to take no action because it’s hopeless – so why bother?”
Hope on its own is an empty word unless there is action behind it. If I say, I hope to on holidays next July, there is no chance of that happening without planning a trip, booking accommodations and travel arrangements and setting the time and taking other necessary steps to leave home.
What Larry is talking about is a belief that positive things can and will happen through our own actions and attitudes – and further, that we will exude confidence to others.
As we head into 2020, it’s easy to feel less positive – there is economic, social and political upheaval in our country and around the globe.
However, the late great radio broadcaster Paul Harvey once reminded us, “In times like these it helps to recall there have always been times like these.”
As a communications consultant 20 years ago at this time, I was preparing content for a client in preparation of a potential Y2K catastrophe.
Guess what? Those communications materials weren’t needed. We moved smoothly into the Year 2000 without a global online crisis.
Are we going to get every job we apply for? No. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Do we get every house we put an offer on? No. We are disappointed but then find another and make a home out of it with the friends and family we choose to enjoy it with. Do unforeseen circumstances, good and bad, occur? Of course. How we react either way is what matters.
I appreciate the spirit of a quote by author Louisa May Alcott when she remarked, “Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them.”
As this author of Little Women alluded to, not everything is going to go our way, whether on the home front or in the workforce. However, how we answer Larry’s question has implications in our personal and professional lives.
Negativity hangs over us like the smoke those of us in Western Canada are all too familiar with from wildfires. It sucks the life out of you and you feel uninspired.
There is a much greater probability of finding success and opportunities if we have a positive outlook and encourage others. If we’re negative and spreading discontent to those around us, the people who come into our lives will tend to be miserable and down on life, too.
Friend Lynsey Dalen has a phrase to describe this: “Your vibe attracts your tribe.”
Lynsey is an inspiring, driven woman who I’ve watched with admiration advance from radio advertising sales to associate advisor at Neil & Associates.
Earlier this year, she also launched Elle Bell Sales Co. which provides online sales training designed specifically for women. In addition to being a wife and mother of two girls, Lynsey is the women’s clothing buyer for S3 Boardshop.
Lynsey responded with tribe line after I posted a meme on Facebook that I told her reminded me of her actions and style. It cited Five Types Of People To Surround Yourself With: The Inspired, The Motivated, The Open Minded, the Passionate, The Grateful.
Indeed, part of your success in spreading hope is having other people to hand your torch to – like-minded people.
I asked Lynsey to share her thoughts on Larry’s question and the Vibe attracting Tribe statement. Here’s what she says:
“I’ve always been a believer in the law of attraction and that you get back what you put into the universe.
Our energy and our mindset matter because we have the ability to control those things. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond to those things. I 100% believe that happiness is a choice and it has to be a conscious one or else it’s too easy to get caught up in what’s happening around us and to soak up the negative energy of others. It’s not always easy to choose happiness but the result is always worth the effort.
That being said, I try to be conscious of the energy I’m putting out to the people in my life. If I were a negative, pessimistic and discouraging person, those are the type of people I would have in my life because they would feed off that energy. However, I CHOOSE to be a positive, optimistic and encouraging person and so those are the people I have attracted into my circle. Your vibe absolutely attracts your tribe and we are all the product of the people we spend the most time with so I think it’s important to choose wisely. Time is a limited resource and I have zero interest in wasting it!”
I thank Lynsey for sharing her powerful words. There is always hope. Will you join friends like Lynsey, Larry and I to help spread it? Together, we can make a difference.
Where Are We Meant To Be?
August 26, 2013 § 2 Comments
I was at a party recently where one of the attendees was turning 30. He told a group of us he wasn’t where he’d imagined being at that age in terms of achievements, but that he’d come to terms with it.
It was pleasing to hear this fellow had found perspective, especially since he’d just landed a new job and has a lovely girlfriend. He has lots to look forward to.
This is not an uncommon scenario. Whether it’s our own expectations or those of others, there are threshold ages at which certain achievements are supposed to have occurred. I realized long ago there is no set time for things to happen. We should avoid comparisons between generations.
I remember once sitting with a guy on his 30th birthday. He got totally wasted feeling he’d accomplished little worthwhile in his life. He’d somehow overlooked that he was a part owner of a business and had been married in the previous couple of years.
Needless to say, when I reached that age, I was waiting for the sky to fall. It didn’t. Nor did it when I reached age 50.
When I turn 53 on Aug. 28, I will be at a baseball game in Seattle while on vacation. No chance of the blues on that day, either, unless there are some musicians playing one of my favourite genres of music.
Goal-setting is a great tool toward reaching objectives but we can get so consumed with what are “supposed to do” by a certain milestone, we forget to enjoy the journey.
I told an outgoing colleague that I was writing this blog. I just had to include her reaction.
Lucy Ramirez began as a City of Grande Prairie Municipal Intern and left last week as the Education Co-ordinator in the Environmental Sustainability department. I had always found Lucy to be mature beyond her years and admire her for doing things in her own unique ways.
When I learned she’s going to pursue further education to transition to a career in planning, I was not surprised. Lucy has always been her own person.
“Age 30 is the right time for me to be returning to school,” she proclaimed in our parting chat.
Lucy will go as far as her ambition takes her, following her own cues as to the right time to do things.
Our current Municipal Intern Divine Ndemeye had some great food for thought when I told her what I am writing about.
“I wonder if the pressure or excitement, in some instances, is our own choices or if it’s purely societal expectations,” she says.
She notes where people are at by certain ages can be influenced by family, religious or cultural traditions.
“So I suspect that those emphasis put on certain ages are just ways for all of us to feel validated in society and not necessarily always to ourselves,” she added.
“We all know the questions and comments that we get asked at some point in life:
- “When are you going to settle down?”
- “You should think about buying a house”
- “Your clock is ticking”
“All those are associated with a time constraint or some ‘deadline’ to be met. Individual deadlines and targets aren’t usually as expressed as the societal ones. Most people speak of external pressure to be ‘somewhere’ in their life, according to whatever age they are.”
Emilie Lepage, a friend in Quebec City going to medical school to be a doctor, says it’s true how a lot of us have a mindset that at a certain age we should be somewhere in our lives.
“For myself, I imagine being 30 and starting to feel comfortable with my work and hopefully with a man I love, starting a family. But who knows? I can’t predict my future.”
She says it’s most important to focus on happiness and being open to various experiences, including the potential to travel.
“I just don’t have any set goals in where I want to be. I want to see what life has in store for me.”
I was initially inspired to write this piece when Alina, a Canucks fan in Vancouver who follows me on Twitter, shared with me her thoughts in June about graduating from high school and what might lie ahead.
Her outlook is refreshing. I hope others look at what they are doing as worthwhile and not be totally consumed by timelines set by themselves or others.
I’m reminded of the lyrics from Garden Party, a 1972 song by Ricky Nelson: “Ya can’t please everyone so you got to please yourself.”
Check out Alina’s story:
“So I just threw my graduation cap in the air yesterday, and watched as people who I have known since my childhood leave the auditorium to every corner of the world –California, Hong Kong, Toronto, France, and even Russia.
It’s a weird feeling; it never really hit me until I was sitting in the car heading home from the night. Everyone is going down their own separate paths, with each their own aspirations and dreams without the security of a group of people who were essentially like their second family.
“What does my future have in place for me? I really don’t know. Signing up for courses at university, I did know ‘Yeah, I love science’ and that somehow I will manage to incorporate that in my life.
However, university is just another step in education, and since I was a child I was already aware that “Yeah, I’m going to go to university!” and would even answer the home phone calls with “Hi, Dr. Alina here’.
“I think I’ve come to realize that I spend a plethora of my time on textbook knowledge and not enough on true life knowledge – about what it means to challenge yourself, test yourself, do more for people who are always by your side and for people you know that need it.
“When in life am I going to need to know who Arthur Miller’s father was? I mean, it’s interesting to know about the lives of others but maybe – just maybe – I should be spending a little more time on my own?
I want to look back and tell myself that “hey, I actually did go zip lining” even though the thought of being high up in the air puts my brain at unease.
All I know about my future is that I do not want a cookie cutter life. I do not want to graduate high school, then graduate from university, then get a boring job sitting at a desk all day with ugly grey walls swallowing me up followed by getting married and having two kids as well as a dog named Rufus in a home surrounded by a white picket fence.
“It may be the American dream, but if there is one thing I know it’s that it’s definitely not my dream. You only get one chance. Why not leave a meaningful – even if small – mark on the planet?”
Alina has her eyes on being a biologist, a haematologist or a genetics researcher. She will shine at whatever she sets out to do – and whenever she does it.
I Love You.
June 17, 2013 § 1 Comment
Today, I looked myself in the mirror and I wouldn’t budge until I was able to say something to myself that I’ve been longing to hear.
At first, the words wouldn’t come. Blue eyes were staring back at me expectantly. A lump formed in my throat. My bottom lip began to tremble. My eyes welled with tears. I wanted to look away, but I didn’t. This was too important. The blue eyes still looking at me, also red and brimming with tears. So long as I was there, they weren’t going anywhere. Try again.
“I…” I faltered and broke down once more. But with renewed courage I tried again.
“I love you.” I stumbled on the words at the end, but at least this time it was out!
I did it again. And again. And again. Until the words were loud and clear and resounding from a place inside of me I do my best to ignore. If I could’ve hugged the figure in the mirror, what an embrace it would have been. As it was, we stared back at one another, each with a grateful smile curling on our lips. I picked up a hand towel and dried her tears.
“I love you. I see you.” She smiled back. We’ve made contact.
**********
“If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anybody else.”
– Jennifer Lopez
People around me are falling in love. And I’m paying attention. A colleague recently shared a scrapbook she made for her partner – full of words of love, affection and celebration. I flipped each page, looking at the photos, the mementos, the laughing eyes and faces brimmed with happiness.
“This is beautiful!” I said as I handed the scrapbook back to her.
Inside I thought, “Is this what people in love look like?” I’ve known this girl for a long time. I’ve never seen her eyes dance like this before. I think it must be.
My best friend and I have joined forces with another of our friends to complete a book study of Calling In The One by Katherine Woodward Thomas. 7 weeks of exercises and contemplation. At the centre of just about every exercise… you (me). The book is about learning to love yourself, because as J Lo pointed out, true love isn’t possible until we first love ourselves.
I met a man once in the midst of a messy marriage. As I listened to his story, all I could feel were the pain behind his words. A woman he shouldn’t have married, a house that wasn’t creating a space of love for either of them or their children. As we talked, I found myself relating to his pain. Not his situation, but the feeling behind the situation. As he told his story, I could see the parts in mine where I could take the initiative to turn all that around. Most of his story was about learning to stand up for himself and step into his light rather than skulking in his shadows.
I’ve done a great deal of work on my self-image and self-esteem, but I went deeper. I got right down next to the me that was still hurting and I watched what made her cower, made her hide, made her afraid to show her beautiful face. Anything I do that makes her feel like less of a person, I stop. Now we manage our eating habits, our spending habits, our relationships and our thoughts with much more awareness and intention. Because when I slip up, she hides.
I slip up when I’m not listening to her. She knows exactly what she wants, what she needs.
Last night as I lay in my bed, it dawned on me that I could give her what she wants.
“I love you, Wendy,” I whispered into the darkness.
This morning I woke up, all warm and snuggled in my blankets.
“I love you, Wendy.”
And then I had the brilliant idea that I should look myself in the eyes while I said it.
I trudged upstairs, hair a mess, bits of eyeliner still lining my eyes from what I didn’t wash off the night before. I looked myself in the mirror and I wouldn’t budge until I was able to say something to myself that I’ve been longing to hear.
Eyes brimming with tears, lips trembling, it took a few tries, but I did it.
“I love you, Wendy.”
Contact.
Pop Your Cherry
October 11, 2012 § Leave a comment
Flickr Credit: Richard Thomas
The new ‘do.
Today, I was out visiting my bestest Barb. Barb and I met through a common friend once upon a time at a concert. I couldn’t imagine my life without her now. Funny how that works. Anyway, that’s besides the point.
Today, I was out visiting my bestest Barb so we could catch up AND she could have some fun with my hair. By fun I mean what you see to the right. Yes, some colour. She had so much fun playing and all I could think about was how much fun I was having… and my life before life got fun.
I’m so lucky to have found a space where it’s expected that I’ll be 100% myself… more if possible. The less I bring of myself to the table, the less successful I am.
I remembered back when I was in my yonder, younger years, everyone would fawn over my long blond hair. “It’s so gorgeous, why would you ever want to do anything with it?” they’d often comment. In high school, I let my friend Marla give me highlights once. They were exactly two shades darker than my current hair colour. You couldn’t even see them unless the light hit them just so.
When I was in university, I got bold one day on a road trip to Seattle with an old class mate and chopped my hair off from my long blond locks to a cute little bob. When we got home, I found the bestest ever stylist (before I met Barb) at Swizzlesticks in Edmonton. He was brave enough to take artistic liberties with my hair. His name was Dave. I loved him (for his scissor skills – not to be confused with scissoring skills – and because he always called me his Nordic princess). He popped my colour cherry. As in… he was the first one to add anything more than those little highlights to my hair. Who knew a hairstyle could be so freeing? In later years, I looked back on this time as being the time when I was the most “me”.
Speaking of the most me, guess who’s back to super short hair and experimenting with colours? I repopped my colour and short hair cherry when I jumped ship from corporate Calgary and joined ranks with Yelp – and the more comfortable I am in my own skin, the better things seem to get.
On popping your cherry…
Whatever it is… just go do it. It’s like your first. You’re nervous and you don’t really know what to expect. But it’s something you’ve heard your friends doing and it sounds like it could be a lot of fun. So, what’s holding you back?
No matter your first encounter, finding a new cherry to pop in your life will always add some pizzazz and excitement. You got over your “real” first time and now have a blast in those encounters, right? It’s time to apply the same feelings and experiences elsewhere! (Well… metaphorically-ish). So… POP!
The Passion of Les Habitant Fans
April 25, 2011 § 5 Comments
It all started when I was 10 years old. I wondered what the sirens were all about as my Dad watched hockey.
I was hearing, of course, the signal to begin and end the periods at the fabled Montreal Forum where the Canadiens, a.k.a the Habs, played prior to moving in the Bell Centre.
My initiation into Hab Nation began in the spring of 1971, 40 years ago. This blog is an account of how I and other men and women across the country have become diehard fans invariably as a family custom.
I started watching the Habs play against the heavily favoured Boston Bruins, who they would upset in seven games in the first round of the playoffs that year. As I write, the Canadiens are once again the underdog versus the same team in this year’s post-season.
A love for the team attired in rouge, blanc et bleu with a CH on the front of their jerseys would be one of the things my late father and I would share over the years.
The torch has been passed on to support this storied sports franchise which has won the second most championships in professional sports with 24. Only the New York Yankees have more banners.
I was immediately hooked as the upstart team went on to win the Cup in my infancy as a fan, beating Boston, the Minnesota North Stars and the Chicago Blackhawks.
What a great time to become a fan of the Canadiens – they would capture six Cups in the 1970s, including four in a row, from 1976 to 1979.
The number of championships would dwindle after that – just two since – but the fervent desire to win never ceases in Montreal and for fans of the Canadiens elsewhere. Hockey is a religion in Quebec and I couldn’t help but be drawn in by the passion.
Although the Canadiens were not the favourites in 1971, I was attracted by their tradition for winning and commitment to be the best.
Some of my lifetime heroes came from that era of hockey, particularly Bob Gainey, who epitomized how I believe an athlete or any professional should conduct themselves — make every shift count.
He would later coach in Minnesota and was general manager in Dallas when they won the Cup. He also had executive duties with the Habs and served two stints behind the bench.
The highlight of my being a member of the Hab faithful came in 1979 during a student exchange between Northern Lights College in my hometown of Dawson Creek, B.C. and Marianopolis College in Montreal.
We’d been told from the beginning that the March 22 game between Montreal and the New York Islanders was already sold out.
On the day of the game, though, two classmates and I decided to go to the Forum to get souvenirs so we could say we’d been to the Canadiens rink.
After loading up on Hab paraphernalia, we checked in at Marianopolis College where our liaison asked us if we’d like to go to the game that night. We said in unison “What game?”
It turned out Charles Bromfman, owner of the Expos at the time, was in Florida for spring training and his tickets became available. We jumped at the chance.
I recall to this day walking around a few feet off the ground. I have never been so excited.
The Habs lost that game but would go on to win the Cup that year. They almost didn’t make it, but for the famed May 10 gaffe by Bruin coach Don Cherry. A late too many men on the ice penalty in the seventh game against Boston allowed Montreal to tie the game and win it in overtime, propelling the Habs on to the final against the Rangers.
I would get to meet Guy Lafleur, who scored the equalizing goal, years later at an oldtimers’ game in Sault Ste. Marie. I got to speak briefly with Ken Dryden who was general manager of the Maple Leafs when I attended the final game at the Gardens.
Another favourite moment was having a friend get an autographed copy of Jean Beliveau’s autobiography. My dog, Jasper, chewed the book to bits, with only the signature page remaining intact.
My wife knew how much the book meant to me so she didn’t share the news of the book’s fate until six months later.
A trip to the conference finals last spring stoked up the fire for Hab fans again. I knew my passion hadn’t subsided. It was a sick feeling losing to the Flyers.
I am not alone in my passion for following the Habs.
Here in Grande Prairie, Tom Pura at the Chamber is Commerce, is well known for being a big booster of the Habs and the Saskatchewan Roughriders.
He, too, started following the Habs in 1971.
“The obsession really hit during the four straight run from ’76 to ’79,” he recalls.
“I had to sit in the same spot in the same position to watch their games … very superstitious. They were entertaining to watch including the golden tones of Danny Gallivan and Dick Irvin. The cups in ’86 and ’93 were pleasant surprises, but nothing compares to the ’70s for me.
“I celebrated every win and took every loss hard. It seems silly to a lot of people but everyone should have a passion for something. Mine was always sports.
“I knew those teams in the 70s inside and out, every stat, every number and name, every idiosyncrasy, and we imitated our heroes in road hockey or tennis court hockey or floor hockey. I never actually played ice hockey, but I was Larry Robinson on defence and Ken Dryden in goal and Pete Mahovlich at forward because i was one of the taller kids,” says Tom. “I even remember Larry Robinson’s overtime goal as a rookie in ’73 against the Flyers. I was six not yet seven and recreating that shot from behind the blue line in my living room with a plastic stick and puck.”
For Trista Lefave, a friend from Cornwall, Ont., who’s studying at the University of Ottawa to be a teacher, following the Habs started at an early age.
“My father is a French-Canadian from Quebec and a huge Habs fan.”
Her father, whose house is a shrine to the Habs, would delight in buying Canadien-themed Christmas presents for family members.
“He bought me and my brother Habs jerseys, and other things like pajamas or blankets. He’s the one who got us into the Habs, anything Habs. And now for birthdays and Christmas my sisters, brother, mom and I give Habs presents to each other, and we passed along our love for the Canadiens to my nieces and nephews so it’s all in the family.
“I grew up watching the Canadiens play and cheering on Patrick Roy. I became a very dedicated and diehard fanatic for the Habs.”
Trista has watched the Habs play in Ottawa but awaits her first game at the Bell Centre.
Last November, she did get to meet her favourite player, forward Mike Cammalleri, along with coach Jacques Martin, assistant Perry Pearn, and former Hab Maxim Lapierre at an event at the Bell Centre. Retired Habs Rejean Houle and Yvon Lambert were also on hand.
Much like I grew up wearing a Yvan Cournoyer’s #12 jersey and admiring the speed that would earn him the nickname Roadrunner, Trista appreciates that Cammalleri is not a big player, but is a sniper nonetheless.
“He’s a true Canadian hockey player. He loves being a Montreal Canadien. I just love his whole demeanor, his dedication, passion and his attitude. He’s not as big as everyone else, but he plays with heart and shows his skills are just as great and better than some. I respect that a lot.
“The thing I find amazing is everyone who plays on the Habs always talks about what an amazing team it is to play for, how dedicated and passionate the fans are and how that makes them want to play. Brian Gionta even said he wouldn’t have signed with the Habs had it not been for the passionate fans. We love our sport and take it seriously and it’s amazing that the players see our love for the game and for them.”
Another friend, Hélène LeGendre Drake, an audiologist who lives in Whitby, Ont., returned to her Hab roots in recent years.
“When I was very young living in eastern Quebec, my Dad and I would watch the game on Saturday nights. It was the best night of the week! Aside from the game, it was so nice to see my Dad in such a good mood, and fun for me to get to eat junk food and stay up way past my bedtime,” she recalls fondly.
“My real passion for the Montreal Canadiens started about six years ago after a friend invited me to a pre-season game at the Bell Centre. Something magical happened at that game, it was so exhilarating! And after that experience, I was simply hooked!
“I knew that I would be making the trip from Toronto to Montreal many times to see my beloved team! I usually manage to attend three games in Montreal per season. I’ve even made the awesome trip to California last year to see the games versus LA and Anaheim.
“I have only met Canadien players once, at the Toronto Hockey Hall of Fame in 2006. Each player signed our poster and chatted with us a bit. It really was surreal. The only two players remaining with that team are Tomas Plekanec, who happens to be my favourite player, and Andrei Markov.
“I know now that I am a true fan of the Montreal Canadiens for life. It has become my passion. Win or lose, I bleed bleu, blanc, rouge!”
Meanwhile, here in Grande Prairie, hope springs eternal that the Habs will once again rise to the top and win hockey’s Holy Grail.
What’s In An Age?
August 24, 2010 § 4 Comments
Image by clevercupcakes via Flickr
So, I turn 50 on Saturday. Yes, a half-century old. The Big Five-Oh.
While this blog focuses on motivation and inspiration, you won’t find me using phrases like, “you are only as old as you feel” or “age is only a number.”
In fact, I’ve never had any strong feelings about reaching any significant age. This year is no different.
However, a colleague gave me pause for thought the other day. She remarked, “We are getting older, David.”
There is no doubt we are. But any reflection I do on the subject revolves around realizing that I continue to grow as a person and as a professional. I learn about myself and the world around me every day.
I aspire to the phrase that when you stop learning, you stop living.
Certainly the signs of advancing age are there – less hair and what I have left has streaks of what I refer to as “Arctic blond” otherwise known as grey.
I can’t do some of the physical things I used to do as well or with as much stamina – the onset of Type 2 diabetes has had a noticeable effect on my eyesight and is likely responsible for the degenerative discs in my neck.
And because I take medicine for diabetes, I don’t drink alcohol. So, if I want to party hardy, I won’t do it by consuming booze.
However, I am content that virtually all the things I have ever really liked to do, I can still enjoy wholeheartedly.
I remain an avid sports fan. I still like to crank up the tunes – and I have yet to reach the stage where I need to. Live theatre is a great interest and being in the great outdoors is an enjoyable daily occurrence with my wife and Jasper, our dog. I still relish hiking and tent camping.
I continue to maintain the motto: Never grow up. Just age gracefully.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is the importance of fostering great friendships.
I’ll be marking The Big Day with Joyce by visiting some of them – the family I celebrated with while boarding at their home 30 years ago when I was attending college in Richmond, B.C.
Friendships can also occur with anyone of any age and background. It’s really a matter of connecting with people who are meaningful and enhance your life. It’s not just who you connect with but how.
For example, my blog mate, Wendy, has become a close friend since we met at a conference in May 2009. Soon after, we realized we had much in common and decided to create this blog to develop content for inspirational and motivational book(s) and collaborate on other projects.
Wendy is 28 and I am old enough to be her parent yet we can readily finish each other’s sentences and routinely one of us says something that sparks ideas for the other. We often enjoy long conversations via Skype between Grande Prairie and Calgary.
She has remarked that I am her 20 years from now.
It would be a great loss if either one of us had put up barriers to this connection.
I’ve been inspired by other younger people lately.
The City of Grande Prairie’s Economic Development Officer, Brian Glavin, just turned 25. He has the wisdom and poise of someone much older. This makes him a joy to work with and talk to on any subject.
Brian is bound to be a leader in our organization for many years to come and will have a great impact on his community or in any venture he takes on.
Then there’s Mary Leong who I had the occasion to speak with a few times this summer through her internship in Grande Prairie helping youth seek employment.
Mary, who grew up in Singapore and has been in Canada just five years, will go as far as her ambition takes her. I was immediately taken by her enthusiasm and wide array of interests.
She’s studying political science and psychology at the University of British Columbia. Her future will see her doing either research on how technology shapes cognition and its subsequent effects on political behaviour or something in foreign relations. Perhaps she will be an ambassador or a diplomat. Who knows, maybe she will be Prime Minister.
Mary has already accomplished much in her short life. I look forward to keeping tabs of what are sure to be many success stories authored by her in the future.
At the other end of the spectrum is my mother-in-law, Mary Black, who turned 87 in April. Visits with her bless you with her peacefulness and sense of simplicity. Plus, there is probably not a kinder, gentler, classier person in the world.
So, what is in an age? It’s up to you!
The Buck Starts Here…
November 30, 2009 § 12 Comments
The more I continue to learn and observe and grow and share, the more apparent it is to me that there is at least one fundamental, undeniable truth about life. That anything in my life is happening because of me. I really am at the centre of my own universe. That isn’t meant in an egotistical way… but everything that I am, everything that I believe, every choice that I make impacts my path into the future in some way. And just as I have the control to create certain scenarios in my life, I also have the control to stop them.
Part of being in control of my own life and my own destiny is being aware of myself, my triggers, my actions, my desires, my needs, my wants, my current situation and where I want to go, the disconnects, the bridges built, celebrating successes, appreciating the present and still moving towards the future. Everything is so interconnected, and it all flows out from one place. Me.
Granted, there are elements outside of my control that contribute to where I am in a particular moment. But I truly believe that what is crossing my path today is a result of something I put out into the world yesterday. With this thought in mind, the choices I am making today reflect where I want to be tomorrow.
I ran into an old employer once who asked me how I was doing and my reply was something along the lines of “still changing the world.” He laughed and responded “young people always think they’re going to change the world. Let me know how it’s going in another 10 years.”
Well, it’s not 10 years later, but it’s 2 years later. And I think I’m changing the world more now than I was then. Because each of us has an impact on where the world goes. I’ve been surprised recently with the changes others are inspired to make in their own lives as a result of the changes I’ve made in mine and my willingness and openness to share my experiences as I’m doing them.
And so, I’m moving forward, at the centre of my own universe, making positive changes in myself that then ripple out and change the world around me. And those changes create new situations and present me with new paths to explore and new choices I can make. All because I figured out that the buck doesn’t just stop here… it starts here too.
Word Bans
October 12, 2009 § 14 Comments
There are words I would like to ban, not necessarily for their being negative, but more because they are not positive. Words and phrases like may, hope to, will try, could, and so on. Most often, these phrases could be replaced with WILL.
While we do fall short in our expectations from time to time, I think a mindset develops around the not-so-positive phrases I alluded to. But in the words of Yoda of Star Wars fame: “Do or do not. There is no try.”
We should train ourselves to talk and think in terms of “I will” versus “I will try” or “I hope to” … more positive things may happen.
I have found that often what follows after the hope to, may, will try, etc. is a coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Oh yes, I know some people feel the word hope is important because they say it is all some people have. There are people who have led challenging lives. There are others who have overcome incredible odds. I want people to realize there can be more than hope.
Another phrase to eliminate is … I think. Either you know or you don’t know.
Wendy is right about the different interpretation of words. I think people sometimes just don’t realize the meaning of what they are saying. How many times have we been in a restaurant and the server has asked us, “Is everything okay?” In some diners, I have been tempted to respond, “shouldn’t it be?”
I know I can be anal, but okay to me is mediocre, nothing to write home about. When I have received exceptional service, I have even tried to do my part to train the server by responding, “Everything is much better than okay. It’s great, especially the service.”
Of course, the server should be rephrasing the question away from putting a standard on dining experience in the first place by getting the patron to describe their own feeling about the visit to the restaurant. Something like, “How is your meal?” Or “Have you enjoyed your visit to our restaurant?”
To me, okay is just … okay.
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