Pop Your Cherry
October 11, 2012 § Leave a comment
Flickr Credit: Richard Thomas
The new ‘do.
Today, I was out visiting my bestest Barb. Barb and I met through a common friend once upon a time at a concert. I couldn’t imagine my life without her now. Funny how that works. Anyway, that’s besides the point.
Today, I was out visiting my bestest Barb so we could catch up AND she could have some fun with my hair. By fun I mean what you see to the right. Yes, some colour. She had so much fun playing and all I could think about was how much fun I was having… and my life before life got fun.
I’m so lucky to have found a space where it’s expected that I’ll be 100% myself… more if possible. The less I bring of myself to the table, the less successful I am.
I remembered back when I was in my yonder, younger years, everyone would fawn over my long blond hair. “It’s so gorgeous, why would you ever want to do anything with it?” they’d often comment. In high school, I let my friend Marla give me highlights once. They were exactly two shades darker than my current hair colour. You couldn’t even see them unless the light hit them just so.
When I was in university, I got bold one day on a road trip to Seattle with an old class mate and chopped my hair off from my long blond locks to a cute little bob. When we got home, I found the bestest ever stylist (before I met Barb) at Swizzlesticks in Edmonton. He was brave enough to take artistic liberties with my hair. His name was Dave. I loved him (for his scissor skills – not to be confused with scissoring skills – and because he always called me his Nordic princess). He popped my colour cherry. As in… he was the first one to add anything more than those little highlights to my hair. Who knew a hairstyle could be so freeing? In later years, I looked back on this time as being the time when I was the most “me”.
Speaking of the most me, guess who’s back to super short hair and experimenting with colours? I repopped my colour and short hair cherry when I jumped ship from corporate Calgary and joined ranks with Yelp – and the more comfortable I am in my own skin, the better things seem to get.
On popping your cherry…
Whatever it is… just go do it. It’s like your first. You’re nervous and you don’t really know what to expect. But it’s something you’ve heard your friends doing and it sounds like it could be a lot of fun. So, what’s holding you back?
No matter your first encounter, finding a new cherry to pop in your life will always add some pizzazz and excitement. You got over your “real” first time and now have a blast in those encounters, right? It’s time to apply the same feelings and experiences elsewhere! (Well… metaphorically-ish). So… POP!
I Did It On Purpose!
September 30, 2012 § 4 Comments
Yes… I was a dancing turkey on purpose. Why? Because I wanted to…
I’ve recently begun to live my life on purpose. You know, like, deliberately. With one full month of life happening because of me rather than to me, I’ve got to say, I’m pretty confident in my process so far. All it requires is one little question, “Why?”
For every action I perform, I ask myself, “Why?” And if the answer is anything other than, “Because I want to,” I scrap it. From the work I’m doing to the food I’m eating to the activities and people I’m engaging with, I’m not living the way I’m supposed to, I’m living the way I want to. That one simple change has brought me, by far, the most fun and stress free month I can remember. I feel like a kid that’s just gotten off the best ride ever and is taking a quick breather before she jumps right back on!
Do you want to hear the best part? Despite all the fun, everything still got done. I’m healthier, I’m happier, my relationships are stronger and I’m more effective in all areas of my life. All because “no” and “can’t” and “shouldn’t” simply don’t exist as options. Neither does “hard”. Oh, and “because that’s the way it is”… yeah, I took a sledgehammer to that one.
I’ve been reading Lost And Found by Geneen Roth. She makes many resounding observations, but one in particular sticks with me. It’s the idea that well-intentioned lessons repeatedly told to us throughout our lives morph into ugly, limiting beliefs. For instance, when I was a kid, I was told that I was chubby and that I had to watch what I ate. I’ve been fighting with food and my own self-image ever since.
So, what changed? I looked at the behaviour. Whenever I caught myself trying to manage myself around food, I asked, “Why do I want that?” or “Why can’t I have that?” Most often, the answer was, “Because I’m not supposed to.” I dug deeper. “Why?” The reply, “Because I have a weight problem and if I allow myself one bite of that donut, chocolate, piece of cake, etc. I won’t be able to stop myself.”
Bullshit.
I dug deeper and found no memory of this ever happening. What I did find was a particular moment in my childhood when I felt ashamed after being scolded in front of relatives at Thanksgiving dinner for reaching for a second piece of dessert.
I’ve subsequently thrown any weight loss goals out the window. If I want cake for breakfast, I eat it. Most often, though, what I really want is a bowl full of strawberries or a bit of granola. If I don’t want anything, I don’t eat it. I’ve lost 7 lbs in the last month.
Doing what we’re supposed to do or attempting to keep up appearances for the sake of appearances does nothing more than serve to take up space and keep us from attaining that which we want most. Make a list. Check it twice. And ask, “Why?” Rinse and repeat for any areas of your life you aren’t attaining what you want.
My Sweet Spot Is The Bees Knees
September 10, 2012 § Leave a comment
He’s found his sweet spot… and so have I!
Every sunny moment, almost without fail, when I look out my front window, there’s a rabbit snuggled up in the same lump of grass next to the sidewalk. He’ll spend hours there, basking in the glow of the morning or the evening sun. I hadn’t thought much about him until one day my roommate commented, “Did you notice he sits in the exact same spot every time? It’s like he’s made the perfect groove in the ground to fit his little bunny body.”
And so he has. He was there again this afternoon when I got home. Cuddled up and catching the last few rays of the waning summer sunlight. I headed out onto the front porch to watch him a little while longer. As I stepped onto the stoop, he tensed a little, but he wasn’t running from his treasured dip in the ground unless he absolutely had too. Not wanting to disturb his September afternoon rest, I quietly headed back inside and contemplated him further from the front window.
I then decided he had picked a pretty sweet spot to make himself at home. Besides the obvious, a house with two of the world’s best roommates, it really was a nearly ideal groove in the ground – he fit so perfectly. I wonder how many other spots he’s crouched in before he found this one? I’m honoured that it’s our house he’s chosen for his perch because I’ve made it mine too and I’ve got to say, it’s the bees knees.
How important is it that we each carve out our own little space in the world? Our own niche, own hideaway? Whether it’s somewhere fully exposed or tucked way back from prying eyes, everyone and everything needs a place where they feel at home. A place they can come back to and feel safe from the roar and rustle of the outside world.
With shifting family dynamics, jobs and even my own inner self over the last five to eight years, it’s taken me quite some time to find a haven I’m comfortable curling up in again. But I think I’ve finally found it. A place in time I’d like to stop and enjoy for more than a passing moment or two. I did a faery card reading last night, and one of the cards I pulled up was called The Guardian at the Gate. It stands for “passages to new life. Openings. Gatekeeping.” And the meaning behind the card:
“We are embarking on a new phase of our lives, and there will be no going back once this gate has been passed. That is the kind of transition the Guardian at the Gate leads us to – always to irrevocable change.”
I can’t help but think having my own two legs to stand on, firmly rooted in my own sweet spot, is what’s helped me be ready for whatever this next phase is. I’ve felt it coming for a long time now, I just didn’t know when it would hit. But here we are, maybe one or two more corners to round… and my next chapter shall begin.
Listening To Internal Voices?
July 23, 2012 § 2 Comments
My wife came home from a recent psychic fair to advise me the psychic told her that I’d been ignoring my internal spirit for the last 25 to 30 years. As someone who’s done a lot of self-assessment, I was intrigued by this.
In fact, I saw a strong connectedness with some other thoughts I’d had recently.
You see, I’d considered reflecting on a related topic for the Grande Prairie Public Library Writing Competition this spring in which the theme was Home. However, I chose a different tact and entered my first-ever piece of fiction. But I digress into a future topic.
This blog is an opportunity to explore both what the psychic said and my own sentiments about what the word home actually means to me.
Aside from the obvious clichés like, home is where the heart is, I’d originally thought about expressing my feeling in the writing competition about that word – a place I haven’t been yet in my life journey.
I’ve continually felt there’s always something more – knowledge and skills to gain, new accomplishments, higher personal satisfaction, deeper relationships, and more meaning in life, in general.
In my career, I’ve always recognized for myself that while you never stop learning, there can become a time where the potential to get flat outweighs the ability to grow significantly. As a result, I’ve explored several positions along a continuum in the communications world.
Away from work, there’ve always been additional volunteer opportunities, more places to travel to, new music to check out, and I could invest more time in rooting for my favourite sports teams. Co-writing this blog developed out of an interest in publishing a motivational/inspirational book(s) and I’ve entered three writing competitions.
I can also always strive to be a better husband, friend and father.
Will I ever have a sense of arriving home? I don’t know that I won’t feel driven on a personal or professional level, that there won’t be another “adventure”, as my wife’s cousin, Nancy McGuire, described it the other day in a Skype conversation.
So what about what the psychic said?
Like I mentioned earlier, I do think a lot – sometimes too much – so I’m very familiar with an inner voice.
Have I been ignoring mine, as the psychic said? If she is on to something, I would say it is more likely a case of not recognizing what the inner voice is saying.
Could it be that my continued thirst for knowledge and readiness for change are attempts to satisfy a voice I do not understand?
I mentioned this dilemma to a couple of people who know me pretty well for their thoughts.
Friend Hope Maurice said while I’m clearly not dissatisfied or lacking in contentedness, the psychic’s comments could mean that I don’t live enough in the moment as a result of constantly striving for something beyond today.
Hmmm. Interesting.
I truly do get fixated on a great hockey game and love to rock out at concerts. There’s nothing like hiking to a spectacular viewpoint.
I recognize I have yet to reach my full potential.
Although my motivation is always high, I don’t have long-range plans or specific goals to reach. Many people my age are already contemplating retirement and I continue to think that there are still many more possibilities – more to do.
Chelsea Lewis, a colleague at the City of Grande Prairie, says this contemplation I’m writing about is something she can certainly relate to – though she is just beginning her career.
She wondered: “Is this a case of “the grass must be greener on the other side” or perhaps a feeling that you deserve more than what you currently have – that you were destined to achieve something greater and won’t settle for less?”
Perhaps Hope is right, she says.
“Maybe it’s the fact that you can’t enjoy the moment enough because you are caught up in the ideal – the notion of self-realization/inner peace that hasn’t been achieved yet – that you don’t find the current moment fulfilling enough.”
Could all of these thoughts be partially right? Is it possible that I have simply not recognized what that spirit is saying? Are all these thoughts just a sign that I am still just trying to figure out everything?
Perhaps I really haven’t determined what I want to do when I grow up.
Maybe there are many competing voices in my head and it’s resulted in scrambled messages.
It could be that while I do have moments and enjoy them at the time, my mind is already conjuring up the next possibility.
What’s that you say, Spirit?
Thankful For The Small Things
July 9, 2012 § 3 Comments
“Time has a way of showing us what really matters.” ~ Margaret Peters
I’m not one to take things for granted. I’m eternally appreciative for what I have – my family and friends, a most satisfying career, good health beyond being diabetic, and a bevy of interests to keep life fun.
Mother Nature forced an unexpected extended vacation at the end of June and a reminder to be grateful for the small things.
Joyce and I were returning from a vacation on Vancouver Island and were driving through torrential rain in the interior of B.C on June 23. We phoned ahead to Valemount, an hour west of Jasper, to book a hotel for the evening.
Just as well we did. Highway 16 east to Jasper and west toward Prince George were closed – a washed out road and mudslide respectively.
Once we arrived at the Super 8 in Valemount, there was a brief window of opportunity to head home when the road re-opened briefly. But we were already settled for the evening and thought we could leave the next day.
Wrong! Repeated delays throughout that Sunday meant we would be staying at least one more day.
Other options such as heading south to Kamloops and then east to Calgary were not in the cards as there were road closures around Revelstoke. Driving into the U.S. and back up through Alberta was a no-go as we didn’t have our passports with us.
Another option suggested was to drive south to Little Fort and west to 100 Mile House, and up through B.C. Bridge and ferry outages would prevent that.
But we did not feel stuck. Quite the opposite.
Valemount is a pretty town. And we would learn there are friendly, helpful and welcoming residents, who would soon incur their own difficulties – the community’s water system was knocked out of commission due to flooding. A local state of emergency was declared.
That didn’t stop a local pointing us to a store where we could buy water or residents welcoming visitors into their homes after hotels, motels and bed and breakfasts reached capacity.
The general manager at the Super 8 was still smiling after a 20-hour shift (some of the hotel’s staff couldn’t get to work as they live on the other side of the mudslide on the way to Prince George).
There was almost a carnival-like atmosphere as visitors wandered around the town, approaching complete strangers to see if they had news on when the highway would be re-opened.
I was amused that a local helicopter company was quick to react with an entrepreneurial spirit by promoting their services on the side of the highway.
Switching on the television news on the Saturday evening made us feel even more thankful.
Flooding in southern B.C. had wiped out numerous homes and put countless people on evacuation notice. There were stories about forest fire activity in Colorado and Newfoundland. A whitewater rafting accident on the Kicking Horse River had claimed a life.
Yes, we were inconvenienced and would not make it back to work on schedule.
Oh well. We were safe, sound and still basking in the glow of a wonderful vacation that took us around Vancouver Island, over to Mayne Island and on to Richmond, a neighbouring city to Vancouver.
Meanwhile, that same weekend, my friend Natalie Harper, a public relations specialist in Edmonton, made a post on her Facebook page that seemed so fitting to connect to this post:
“I’m convinced that one of the key variables to feeling happy is surrounding yourself with happy, positive and inspired people – the people who uplift you, and you uplift in return,” she wrote.
“I’ve learned I don’t want to be around negative ‘downer’ people – people who are users; people who take others for granted; people who complain about everything; people who don’t appreciate what they have; and people who don’t at least TRY and better themselves, their community, and their life.
Sadly, there are so many people like this out there. But, we can control who we want in our lives. Step one for me is keeping the shiny, happy people around, and giving the ‘downers’ a boot!”
Natalie is right on. It’s okay to feel down. We just don’t need to take others with us. And most often, realizing there are others worse off than us should snap us back to how good most of us really have things.
A Special Father’s Day Note
June 11, 2012 § 5 Comments
We’re approaching that day on the calendar when we honour Dads. My own father has been gone for 23 years now but I still think of him. Actually, a lot lately. You see, he would have been 90 on June 2.
He was also on my mind again a few days later when someone at work asked me to describe, in a few words, someone I admire. I immediately thought of my Dad. He was a salt-of-the-earth type you would want to model yourself after.
Bob Olinger Sr. was that go-to kind of guy if you needed advice. He was generous, a hard worker who devoted his life to making a living and making sure he left something behind for his family, loyal and dependable, and just an all-round decent man.
I think most people he knew him would see a likeness in me – except that Dad managed to maintain his jet black hair right up to the end where I am getting balder by the day and the few tresses I have left are what I refer to as Arctic Blond (grey).
Looking back, I find it interesting that Dad loved to read and recite poetry. That form of writing has never really appealed to me. There is a commonality, though. I’m known for using song lyrics to articulate ideas and feelings.
I can’t hear the Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics without thinking of Dad.
I wasn’t there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn’t get to tell him
All the things I had to say
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I’m sure I heard his echo
In my baby’s new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Like singer Mike Rutherford, my own son, Peter, was born the same year as my father died.
What could I have told Dad if he’d been around for his 90th birthday or if I could look to the heavens and speak with him?
I’m a writer, perhaps a poet in a certain way, so a note might work best:
Dear Dad;
It’s been a while since we’ve chatted. I’m glad you’re in a comfortable place among the angels. I would rather you’d have stayed among us longer.
You were just learning how to enjoy yourself, leaving us just after attending your first NHL game. One of the great passions we shared was hockey and a love for the Montreal Canadiens. It seems the Habs have missed your cheering for them. They’ve only won the Cup once since you left.
I never told you how much I appreciated that you were always there for me, mostly by phone and letters. Somehow, we just didn’t manage to get together a lot in your later years, though I know you planned to visit when Peter was born.
I’m grateful you passed along your work ethic, though I’ve managed to become less of a workaholic than you by taking in a lot of concerts and sporting events, including seeing a Canadiens’ home game. There’s no doubt you could have been less of a workaholic – though attending your retirement dinner I know how much you savoured your employment – had you been able to enjoy a better home life.
In truth, we no doubt would have connected more in the later years had it not been for that. You’ll be delighted to know that I recently celebrated 26 years of happy marriage to Joyce and Peter is now 23.
You taught me to be passionate about much more than hockey, to care about others. I took on your political leanings and have invested a lot of spare time in volunteering.
You were non-confrontational. I’ve inherited that though you did teach me to stand up for what I believe in. You were bound by religious convictions. I am more of a spiritual person.
You enjoyed a few close friendships. Same here. You relished a good rousing debate. Me, too.
I have turned out a bit different from you. You spent much of your work life with the Department of Highways whereas my career has seen me in a progression of roles within the communications field across the country. You played it safe whereas I found myself expanding my horizons.
Of course, it helped that you left some inheritance. In the end, I would have liked to have had less flexibility in exchange for more time with you.
A couple of things I wish you hadn’t passed along are diabetes and your cataracts. On the other hand, these provide a constant reminder that as much as we can plan for the future, living in the moment is important.
I’m constantly striving for balance in all things.
Speaking of which, Dad, I have to go. I’m combining attendance at a conference with a vacation on Vancouver Island.
I think of you often.
Love,
David
Keep the Passion Burning
June 4, 2012 § Leave a comment
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
This favourite quote by author, humourist and lecturer Mark Twain came to mind when I read blogmate Wendy’s recent post about turning 30 and how she’s determined to go for it all.
Wendy once paid me a great compliment by acknowledging that we’re very much alike, particularly in terms of our outlook, though I’m nearly 22 years older.
She will live a dynamic life and flourish at whatever she sets out to do. But then Wendy’s no slouch now, whether it’s the enthusiasm for her job at Yelp Calgary, her passion for ultimate Frisbee or the emotion her writing exudes.
I can predict this with certainty because the one advantage I have over my younger friend is experience.
I’ve seen how attitude drives altitude in life and I thrive on being connected with driven, ambitious people.
Now it’s true that I’m not a millionaire yet. While a paid off mortgage would definitely be great, I’m rich in many other intangible and important ways.
For example, I take great comfort in knowing the phrase “I’m bored” has never crossed my lips and never will.
It’s also exciting to realize I’ve yet to reach my own potential, Far from it, though I have no regrets. In fact, I know I’ve mentored and inspired others to reach greater heights. That is a powerful feeling.
There is always something more to accomplish, whether in relationships, hobbies, careers or self-improvement, in general.
The key is to continually stoke the fires of passion in all aspects of life – whether that’s examining new employment prospects, taking on volunteer opportunities or finding activities that broaden your friend and interest bases.
I draw energy from people like Wendy who strive to live life to the fullest. That’s easier said than done at times. On the other hand, have you ever noticed how much life is sucked out of you by people who are constantly negative or miserable?
Any sustainable life success is bound to occur by surrounding yourself by like-minded people.
Sometimes you can’t control these factors, particularly in the workplace. It’s certainly a rush when you provide someone with an opportunity to work on a project and they react with excitement.
As legendary football coach Lou Holtz once said, “Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
I recently received a random jolt of inspiration when I spoke to Vanessa Besharah, a summer student at the Grande Prairie Regional Tourism Association office, for the first time.
She’d turned down a previously held job to take on this one because of her passion for it.
Her words resonated with me. Not too many others speak about their employment in that way.
I’ll share some other comments. They were a breath of fresh air.
“My outlook in life is that people need to stop, breathe and realize there are so many things in the world that are more important than their career and money,” she says.
Vanessa completed her business studies at Grande Prairie Regional College this spring. She believes a job should be taken because it provides happiness and enjoyment.
“To me, family and my relationship are more important than work and I would drop anything to help them because they’re the ones that are going to be there when you need them.”
Finding balance is quite simple, but it takes effort, she says.
“A lot of people stay in their comfort zone and do not take chances,” she says. “There are so many places to see in this world; people just have to jump in their car and start to drive. We need to get away from work and try to find that balance in life. On a day off, just jump in your car and explore. I was surprised how many people have not even been to many places that are only two hours away and they’ve lived in Grande Prairie their whole life.
“What inspires me so much is when you realize that it’s the small things in life you do for other people that makes them so happy and thankful.”
Vanessa leads a running group in Grande Prairie and helped members reach their goal of achieving a 10 km distance.
“I never knew it meant a lot to people, just the small things and time spent helping people. So next time just say ‘hi’ to someone or lend a helping hand or just hear someone out. It means a lot to people in ways you will never know.”
Vanessa plans to take some time to travel this fall and discover more about herself before pursuing Alberta Fitness Leadership Certification Association training.
“This will allow me to teach fitness and get paid for what I enjoy doing.”
She also plans to take human resources courses online.
“My life isn’t mapped out but I have come to term with that. I think that it’s fine not knowing what’s going to happen so you are more likely to take chances and experience what life throws at you.”
I’m certain Vanessa will go as far as her ambition takes her.
Music is often a topic when Wendy and I speak, so I can’t think of a better way to end this blog than with lyrics from Fleetwood Mac’s song Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow:
Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow
Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here
It’ll be, better than before
Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone
Don’t you look back, don’t you look back.
The Easiest Lessons Are Often the Hardest Ones to Learn
April 9, 2012 § 1 Comment
Reading glasses (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I love it when my brain is able to process things for me and still let me get a good night’s sleep. Like it did on Saturday. I woke up well rested, but also with a big “A-ha!” on my mind. In this particular moment of clarity, I saw an obvious obstacle. It must’ve been in a blind spot. I’m glad I’m learning to change and evaluate different perspectives, because now it’s staring me directly in the face.
What I’ve always known on some level, is that the way to success in any endeavor is to come at it from a space where we’re 100% genuine, authentic and ourselves. In terms of work and my career, I’ve never had any problems doing this. Thus, I’ve never really had any problems in the workplace. Most of the time, I get what I want, although it’s not always when I want it. And if I’m not getting it, I’ve got the ovaries to say something about it or stick my neck out and seek it elsewhere.
Where I run into the most difficulty is in primary relationships. I get stuck on what I think a “girlfriend” or a “wife” type is supposed to be. I put on my happy face and play the polite, nice girl from a small town that everyone’s parents would find delightful. And though those are certainly elements of my personality, I don’t allow the rest to shine on through with them. And yet, over and over, in each given situation, I would start off being myself, but the more I’d get into the relationship, the more I would play the role, and the quicker things deteriorated.
Somewhere in my logical mind, I’ve of course always known this one. I would have had to in order to have that kind of approach in my work life. It surprises me that I wasn’t able to make the connection before between my behaviour in either situation and the results I was seeing (or perhaps it was more that I hadn’t attributed this point as the direct cause of my success or lack thereof before). But alas, it’s always those things that are right in front of us that we often have the most trouble acknowledging.
A conversation I had with my friend Dave later on in the weekend regarding relationships spurred the topic of censorship. How much of ourselves do we censor in order to be the kind of person we think our other half wants to be involved with versus just being ourselves? Each of us had numerous examples of couples in our lives that we considered to be censoring dreams, attitudes, beliefs – any number of things really – for the greater good of the relationship. We also each had a much more limited quantity of examples of couples we felt had attracted their ideal mate and just worked because both parties were coming from a space of complete authenticity.
My biggest challenge now is changing the behaviour. I’ve been playing the role for so long, it’s going to take me awhile to reprogram things, undue the habits I formed long ago. But they aren’t providing the results I desire, so why continue to repeat them?
As I think about all of the steps involved, it seems like I have a relatively large task at hand. Yet, I’m reminded of an example I once read in the book by Chip and Dan Heath, Switch: How to Change When Change is Hard.
My loose rendition of the example is as follows… Essentially, there was this doctor researcher type who was supposed to head over to a developing nation and attempt to solve some of the hunger problems. He was to have a couple of years to complete the research. Unfortunately, a change in government showed up on the horizon and his contacts warned him that his time frame had just shortened to about six months. They couldn’t guarantee that they’d still be around if and when a new government took power. Six months were not enough time to understand all of the factors at play, yet him and his team decided to go in anyway. Instead of trying to identify all of the complexities of the problem, they would look for what the book calls the “bright spots.” In this particular example, the bright spots were any children in the villages that were above average health in their communities. Outliers, if you will. They surveyed families from a variety of nearby villages and found that most families fed their children rice, but the families that also mixed in a local plant had healthier children. The plant was viewed by most as something only lower class families would use, but was providing much-needed nutrients to the children that were consuming it. The researchers then encouraged all mothers to mix in the plant. A decade or so later, the average height and weight of children in the same area had risen considerably. The lesson here? Identifying all of the factors in a problem can waste valuable time. Looking for consistent examples of a preferred situation and discovering what’s being done differently in those examples can bring a simple solution to a large problem.
So, transferring over the mindset of work Wendy versus relationship Wendy is as simple as speaking my mind and going after everything I want in any given situation. If I give no regard to any “considerations” I might come up with to delay progress, I shouldn’t actually experience any delays in progress.
Wish me luck! Let’s see how this goes.
Let Me Eat Cake.
March 26, 2012 § 6 Comments
A birthday cake (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Alright, you could argue that every day is that. But there’s only one day that’s the first day of my 30s. And that day is today.
Plenty of folks have asked me if I’m nervous about turning 30. I’ll admit, I had a minor meltdown yesterday, my last day in my 20s, in the San Francisco airport waiting to come home. “Mini” meaning it lasted all of about 30 seconds before I stopped myself and made me name 10 things I was really sad about. After the second one it was already sounding more than a little ridiculous.
Saturday night, I was watching Fast & Furious in my hotel room. There’s a line where his yumminess, Paul Walker, is talking about Vin Diesel’s character, Donovan, to his character’s sister (Vin’s, not Paul’s). It was something to the effect of, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from your brother, it’s that nothing really matters unless you have a code.” And so, I’ve come up with a few rules to live by of my own for this next decade of my life:
- The older I get, the less likely it is I’ll know what I’m doing. So I might as well just go for it anyway.
- The more I aim for perfection, the less likely it is that I’m going to succeed, so I might as well just go for it anyway.
- Tomorrow is not guaranteed, nor is it known. So I might as well just go for it today.
- The more I give myself what I want, the more I want others to also have more of what they want. So… I might as well just go for more of what I want today.
I see a pattern emerging. And with that… wish me luck! Time to go for it all anyway!
What exactly is it I’m going for? Well… everything. You’ll see!
Communities Need Love, Too
February 27, 2012 § 4 Comments
Over the past few weeks, with St. Valentine’s Day being celebrated in February, people around the world have focused on love and how to express it.
For me, after being married for almost 26 years, I’ve come to know that love in a relationship is something that is nurtured by both people involved. It continues to evolve and you see it illustrated in different ways, physically, through gestures or words.
Does love extend beyond individuals to larger groups of people, to communities? Do people have a relationship with the place they live?
I think so. It gives me goose bumps every time I hear of someone performing a random act of kindness. It brings tears to my eyes when I see someone recognizing they can make a difference to those around them.
Jody Kettyle is someone who realized she could do her own part to make Grande Prairie a better place by focusing on the good news – which there is plenty of – that doesn’t make headlines.
She started the Kinder Gentle Side of Grande Prairie Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/groups/334373066581266/
It has 360 members as I write. I’ve included some of the entries below. But first, I thought I would share a bit of Jody’s story.
Like me, Jody has lived in Grande Prairie twice. My job as Manager of Marketing and Communications with the City involves promoting the municipality and the community. In her job as a delivery driver, she sees and hears of negative things that can and do happen anywhere. She wanted to create a forum for people to celebrate what’s good here.
“There are a lot of wonderful things that happen in this city, but unfortunately happy, good things don’t sell papers,” she told me. “I came home on my birthday and saw the wonderful greetings people had put on my Facebook wall, and I was feeling the love. I wanted to share that feeling with as many people as I could so I started the group on January 5th. Someone told me once to be the change I wanted to see. I have wanted to do something like this for a very long time. I am so happy to live in this city and even more so now that I feel the emphasis is definitely shifting to the more loving, caring side of humanity.”
Jody wishes there could be a good news channel staffed with reporters who circulate through the community looking for the wonderful things people are doing.
“I guess I am a bit of a dork and a dreamer but it won’t stop me from believing we should celebrate the good things,” she says.
Here are some recent posts I wanted to share:
Ruth Hamm (Post 1): I am amazed by the huge hearts of the people of Grande Prairie. Three of us from Grande Prairie leave for Uganda in 3 days to do some relief work in a village as well as work with street children in Kampala where 50% of the children live on the street.
Individuals that I do not even know have come through with huge hearts and generosity. Thank-you hardly seems adequate for how this project has been blessed by you. May you feel blessed in return.
Ruth Hamm (Post 2): Today as I was busy trying to settle my clients prior to leaving for Uganda for a few weeks, one of them called and asked me to come by his home for a bit. As I was preparing to leave after our chat he handed me 2 balls with the Canadian flag on them. He had gone to the Dollar Store to purchase them for the street kids I am going to work with in Kampala!! I just wanted to cry as I accepted them…this from a man who himself was homeless up until a few weeks ago.
Michelle Wurtz Dana Wall: A wonderful story. I went to the Co-op with my daughter and grabbed a few things. When I was standing in line, I realized I’d left my purse in the car. I asked the lady if I could leave my stuff there and she could ring in the next guy… no prob…When I got back with my purse the lady in front of me paid for my groceries for me!!! Wow!! All she said was “pay it forward”.
Jen Simons: I would just like to thank everyone who stepped up over the last couple of days to help out those affected by the cold snap. So many people have given up their own time to be out in the cold rescuing others with boosts and rides, not because they were obligated to, but out of the goodness of their hearts; I hope they know how appreciated they are.
Tracey Matchett Silliker: I go to Sun Capsule fitness and I went for a tan and left my gold necklace hanging in the tanning bed. I did not realize I had left it there until the next morning. The necklace means a lot to me as my hubby bought it for me for our 12th anniversary. I called them first thing and the lady said she didn’t see anything. So after dropping my son at school I went to the gym…. And after looking, it was in the desk taped to a paper with my name on it. Someone could have easily taken it but thankfully someone kind found it and did the right thing. I was almost in tears when they found it 🙂
Darlene M. Astle: I just want to shout out a big ‘Thank You’ to a fellow GP resident who came to my house yesterday to drop off a chopping block for firewood. My husband was out at the bank to get some cash to pay the guy but wasn’t back in time, so the nice guy gave it to me free of charge! It’s refreshing to know that there are still kind people around to help when you need it! :).
Patricia Colosimo-Andreeff: I have had a very rough 2011. Out of the blue, a yoga-instructor friend of mine invited me to her classes for free. Her friend offered me the same gift. OMG! Totally unexpected and right what I needed.
Janice Kretzer-Prysunka: Two nights ago my crazy golden retriever found an open gate and took off … The coldest night and he’s off by himself. We looked and looked, posted on Facebook and called the radio stations. Very kind people in my neighborhood recognized him and noticed he was loose. They watched as he found a dryer vent across from their house to warm up under and then they called him over (he came of course, he’s a retriever!) I was so relieved to get their call and thankful that someone noticed a serious situation and took action!
Vicki Vienneau: I would like to give props to DeAnne Conway-Podolchyk!! DeAnne offered to purchase a bed for a lady with cancer who is sleeping on an air mattress!!! We definitely need many more people like her in the world 🙂 She totally made someone’s day and is going to make a huge difference in that person’s life :).
Angie Kipke: A huge THANK YOU to my neighbour for snow plowing my driveway yesterday. I so appreciate it!
Meanwhile, this past Sunday evening, a gathering of 40 residents assembled for the first gpsoup event, an initiative that emanated from the City of Grande Prairie’s Love for Cities workshop. After a meal of soup and bread, participants voted on ideas for projects that were brought forward at the meeting.
The $10 collected from attendees at the inaugural event will go toward a bird house building project with kindergarten students (A total of $402.60).
The gpsoup (check out www.gpsoup.com, #gpsoup on twitter or http://www.facebook.com/groups/334373066581266/#!/gpsoup) concept is intended to be an ongoing initiative.
Congratulations to Heather Renner and Lloyd Piehl for taking the leadership to spearhead its development.
Perhaps they have adapted the famous John F. Kennedy quote for local purposes – they are doing for their community without asking what will be done for them.
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