If Only I Had Their Talent
July 25, 2011 § 4 Comments
Singer Amy Winehouse joined the 27 Club this past weekend.
This is not a prestigious group – it’s a growing collection of gifted performers who’ve left this world all too soon, at that young age, the result of running on a collision course with excess drug and alcohol use.
Other members of the Club include musicians Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Brian Jones, and Janis Joplin.
They all enjoyed more fame in their less than three decades on earth than most of us will see in a lifetime – not that most of us want to be front page news regularly. These entertainers were more often the subject of headlines for all the wrong reasons.
When I heard of Winehouse’s demise, my immediate reaction was that some of the most talented individuals in the world seem to have no idea of the breadth of their abilities and how far they could rise if they really wanted to. On the other hand, there are people who’ve yet to realize their talents or just need that one break to rise to stardom. Many deserving of the chance will never get it.
What is it that causes the likes of Winehouse to author their own destruction, despite promising careers? Was she troubled all along and the fame and fortune did her in? Did she not realize what she had and did not care? Did she think herself invincible?
My friend Gina MacArthur had an interesting observation with this post on Facebook: “I’m not sure what’s sadder, that a talented young woman died way too young, or that the first reaction of most when they hear about it will be that it was only a matter of time.”
The 27 Club is a group of entertainers whose members’ deaths are associated with excesses of illicit drugs and alcohol. The list of other stars that died before their time, in part because of their own behaviour, could fill pages. There is just a spike at that age.
Keith Moon, one-time drummer with The Who, died at age 32. His Wikipedia profile could read like so many others: “He gained acclaim for his exuberant and innovative drumming style, and notoriety for his eccentric and often self-destructive behaviour.”
With Dan Akroyd in Grande Prairie this past weekend to help fundraise for the dinosaur museum being built just west of the City, I couldn’t help but think about his Blues Brothers co-star John Belushi, who died of a drug overdose at age 33.
Even Marilyn Monroe was only 36 when barbiturates did her in.
Singer Elton John aptly referenced her in a song as a “Candle in the Wind.”
It’s ironic that actor James Dean would be quoted as saying, “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.”
While the 24-year-old Dean would perish in a car crash, his words appear to typify the sentiments of the stars who live in the moment. It seems they don’t realize just how their own gifts influence those who dote on them. Maybe they don’t know. Maybe they are too self-absorbed to care. Maybe the drug use wipes out any sense of their real self worth.
Maybe the families and handlers of these megastars can do more to set them straight before it’s too late.
Of course, those of us who adore these entertainers, literally to death, also need to take a step back. While news of Winehouse’s passing was sweeping the world, actual world tragedies were unfolding with news of more than 90 people in Norway dying as a result of a shooting spree and bomb attack.
Chiara Dalfini, a writing colleague in London, England, puts this in perspective: “All are sad for what happened to Amy Winehouse … well…. what about what happened in Norway????????”
And then there were the more than 43 victims of the bullet train crash in China which resulted in another 200 injuries.
Those who lost lives or were hurt in these incidents had only fate against them – they weren’t party-going, pill popping rock legends or movie stars. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Sometimes I think of those who have gifts like the John Belushis, the Jim Morrisons and Amy Winehouses of the world and liken it to winning the lottery jackpot. I tell myself that I wouldn’t waste the talent or the money if I were given the chance to prove it.
However, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket so I won’t ever make it to the Karaoke Hall of Fame. I have a face most suited for radio but not the voice, so I will never be mistaken for a movie star hunk.
My biggest lottery win was on an unintended correct pick on a sports betting ticket.
Instead, I will be thankful for the talents and gifts I have been blessed with and not allow successes to let my head get too big.
The Passion of Les Habitant Fans
April 25, 2011 § 5 Comments
It all started when I was 10 years old. I wondered what the sirens were all about as my Dad watched hockey.
I was hearing, of course, the signal to begin and end the periods at the fabled Montreal Forum where the Canadiens, a.k.a the Habs, played prior to moving in the Bell Centre.
My initiation into Hab Nation began in the spring of 1971, 40 years ago. This blog is an account of how I and other men and women across the country have become diehard fans invariably as a family custom.
I started watching the Habs play against the heavily favoured Boston Bruins, who they would upset in seven games in the first round of the playoffs that year. As I write, the Canadiens are once again the underdog versus the same team in this year’s post-season.
A love for the team attired in rouge, blanc et bleu with a CH on the front of their jerseys would be one of the things my late father and I would share over the years.
The torch has been passed on to support this storied sports franchise which has won the second most championships in professional sports with 24. Only the New York Yankees have more banners.
I was immediately hooked as the upstart team went on to win the Cup in my infancy as a fan, beating Boston, the Minnesota North Stars and the Chicago Blackhawks.
What a great time to become a fan of the Canadiens – they would capture six Cups in the 1970s, including four in a row, from 1976 to 1979.
The number of championships would dwindle after that – just two since – but the fervent desire to win never ceases in Montreal and for fans of the Canadiens elsewhere. Hockey is a religion in Quebec and I couldn’t help but be drawn in by the passion.
Although the Canadiens were not the favourites in 1971, I was attracted by their tradition for winning and commitment to be the best.
Some of my lifetime heroes came from that era of hockey, particularly Bob Gainey, who epitomized how I believe an athlete or any professional should conduct themselves — make every shift count.
He would later coach in Minnesota and was general manager in Dallas when they won the Cup. He also had executive duties with the Habs and served two stints behind the bench.
The highlight of my being a member of the Hab faithful came in 1979 during a student exchange between Northern Lights College in my hometown of Dawson Creek, B.C. and Marianopolis College in Montreal.
We’d been told from the beginning that the March 22 game between Montreal and the New York Islanders was already sold out.
On the day of the game, though, two classmates and I decided to go to the Forum to get souvenirs so we could say we’d been to the Canadiens rink.
After loading up on Hab paraphernalia, we checked in at Marianopolis College where our liaison asked us if we’d like to go to the game that night. We said in unison “What game?”
It turned out Charles Bromfman, owner of the Expos at the time, was in Florida for spring training and his tickets became available. We jumped at the chance.
I recall to this day walking around a few feet off the ground. I have never been so excited.
The Habs lost that game but would go on to win the Cup that year. They almost didn’t make it, but for the famed May 10 gaffe by Bruin coach Don Cherry. A late too many men on the ice penalty in the seventh game against Boston allowed Montreal to tie the game and win it in overtime, propelling the Habs on to the final against the Rangers.
I would get to meet Guy Lafleur, who scored the equalizing goal, years later at an oldtimers’ game in Sault Ste. Marie. I got to speak briefly with Ken Dryden who was general manager of the Maple Leafs when I attended the final game at the Gardens.
Another favourite moment was having a friend get an autographed copy of Jean Beliveau’s autobiography. My dog, Jasper, chewed the book to bits, with only the signature page remaining intact.
My wife knew how much the book meant to me so she didn’t share the news of the book’s fate until six months later.
A trip to the conference finals last spring stoked up the fire for Hab fans again. I knew my passion hadn’t subsided. It was a sick feeling losing to the Flyers.
I am not alone in my passion for following the Habs.
Here in Grande Prairie, Tom Pura at the Chamber is Commerce, is well known for being a big booster of the Habs and the Saskatchewan Roughriders.
He, too, started following the Habs in 1971.
“The obsession really hit during the four straight run from ’76 to ’79,” he recalls.
“I had to sit in the same spot in the same position to watch their games … very superstitious. They were entertaining to watch including the golden tones of Danny Gallivan and Dick Irvin. The cups in ’86 and ’93 were pleasant surprises, but nothing compares to the ’70s for me.
“I celebrated every win and took every loss hard. It seems silly to a lot of people but everyone should have a passion for something. Mine was always sports.
“I knew those teams in the 70s inside and out, every stat, every number and name, every idiosyncrasy, and we imitated our heroes in road hockey or tennis court hockey or floor hockey. I never actually played ice hockey, but I was Larry Robinson on defence and Ken Dryden in goal and Pete Mahovlich at forward because i was one of the taller kids,” says Tom. “I even remember Larry Robinson’s overtime goal as a rookie in ’73 against the Flyers. I was six not yet seven and recreating that shot from behind the blue line in my living room with a plastic stick and puck.”
For Trista Lefave, a friend from Cornwall, Ont., who’s studying at the University of Ottawa to be a teacher, following the Habs started at an early age.
“My father is a French-Canadian from Quebec and a huge Habs fan.”
Her father, whose house is a shrine to the Habs, would delight in buying Canadien-themed Christmas presents for family members.
“He bought me and my brother Habs jerseys, and other things like pajamas or blankets. He’s the one who got us into the Habs, anything Habs. And now for birthdays and Christmas my sisters, brother, mom and I give Habs presents to each other, and we passed along our love for the Canadiens to my nieces and nephews so it’s all in the family.
“I grew up watching the Canadiens play and cheering on Patrick Roy. I became a very dedicated and diehard fanatic for the Habs.”
Trista has watched the Habs play in Ottawa but awaits her first game at the Bell Centre.
Last November, she did get to meet her favourite player, forward Mike Cammalleri, along with coach Jacques Martin, assistant Perry Pearn, and former Hab Maxim Lapierre at an event at the Bell Centre. Retired Habs Rejean Houle and Yvon Lambert were also on hand.
Much like I grew up wearing a Yvan Cournoyer’s #12 jersey and admiring the speed that would earn him the nickname Roadrunner, Trista appreciates that Cammalleri is not a big player, but is a sniper nonetheless.
“He’s a true Canadian hockey player. He loves being a Montreal Canadien. I just love his whole demeanor, his dedication, passion and his attitude. He’s not as big as everyone else, but he plays with heart and shows his skills are just as great and better than some. I respect that a lot.
“The thing I find amazing is everyone who plays on the Habs always talks about what an amazing team it is to play for, how dedicated and passionate the fans are and how that makes them want to play. Brian Gionta even said he wouldn’t have signed with the Habs had it not been for the passionate fans. We love our sport and take it seriously and it’s amazing that the players see our love for the game and for them.”
Another friend, Hélène LeGendre Drake, an audiologist who lives in Whitby, Ont., returned to her Hab roots in recent years.
“When I was very young living in eastern Quebec, my Dad and I would watch the game on Saturday nights. It was the best night of the week! Aside from the game, it was so nice to see my Dad in such a good mood, and fun for me to get to eat junk food and stay up way past my bedtime,” she recalls fondly.
“My real passion for the Montreal Canadiens started about six years ago after a friend invited me to a pre-season game at the Bell Centre. Something magical happened at that game, it was so exhilarating! And after that experience, I was simply hooked!
“I knew that I would be making the trip from Toronto to Montreal many times to see my beloved team! I usually manage to attend three games in Montreal per season. I’ve even made the awesome trip to California last year to see the games versus LA and Anaheim.
“I have only met Canadien players once, at the Toronto Hockey Hall of Fame in 2006. Each player signed our poster and chatted with us a bit. It really was surreal. The only two players remaining with that team are Tomas Plekanec, who happens to be my favourite player, and Andrei Markov.
“I know now that I am a true fan of the Montreal Canadiens for life. It has become my passion. Win or lose, I bleed bleu, blanc, rouge!”
Meanwhile, here in Grande Prairie, hope springs eternal that the Habs will once again rise to the top and win hockey’s Holy Grail.
Making Your Goals A Reality
February 14, 2011 § 5 Comments
A few weeks ago, my friend, Elizabeth, was abuzz with excitement about how 2011 would be a year of significant change including her return to school next fall and starting a marketing-related business.
But where to start?
I’d read recently that while you go through a book from front to back to find out the ending, authoring a success story occurs with the goal in mind and working back.
So, I told Elizabeth that she needs to determine what her ultimate achievement is to be and then visualize the steps required to make it happen.
Organizational consultant and author Stephen Covey, in his book, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, describes this as beginning with the end in mind (Habit 2).
- Habit 2 is based on the principle that all things are created twice – a mental or first creation and a physical or second creation.
- Most endeavours that fail, fail with the first creation.
The highway to success is littered with the wreckage of countless abandoned dreams. How many of us have had ideas we didn’t pursue because we didn’t dare to go to that next step?
Perhaps we were fearful of failure or simply just comfortable. Maybe other priorities got in the way.
I know Elizabeth will succeed. She’s a driven individual, passionate about her company idea and has a good business sense. Returning to school part-time will be a key to her success.
When you’re starting a company, there are all kinds of considerations, beginning with a business plan. Then there are factors such whether to be home-based or located in an office space. Should you hire staff or just bring on associates as needed? Even choosing a corporate name can be a challenge. Should your own name be attached to it or do you select something unique?
Having operated a successful business, I share Elizabeth’s excitement. There’s nothing quite like taking an idea and nurturing it into reality. In a sense, it’s like producing a child and watching it grow.
Earlier, I described reading to the end of a book to see how the story turns out. My personal goal involves writing books – the first based on a story I penned for the Grande Prairie Public Library writing competition last year – and others to be developed from the content Wendy and I produce for this blog.
So, in a sense, I’m already on my way with Book Number One. I’ve set next Christmas as a target for being on bookshelves.
But, considering Covey’s end in mind guidance, there are many steps to go. The story needs to be fleshed out further. I need to determine whether it’s a kids’ book or something for older audiences. Should it be done in a series? Will I find a publisher or self publish? Perhaps it will be an e-book. If I print, how many copies do I want to publish? What about an illustrator?
Decisions.Decisions.
I enjoy these kinds of questions. They mean I see opportunities that I’m passionate about, that I have a purpose and before long, I will have steps in place to reach my goal. When I started my business, I remember colleagues at my former workplace telling me how lucky I was.
It was good fortune to be making a quarter of my former salary with a fledgling company? Hmmm. Yeah, right! Joking aside, I do know what they meant. They wished they’d had the motivation to try something new, to follow a dream.
I never want to be left saying, woulda, coulda, shoulda, to have regrets. Admittedly, it does take strong resolve to follow through on a goal, especially something that is significantly life-altering.
American comedian/author/educator Bill Cosby offers this advice: “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
So, as we reach month 2 of 2011, what are your goals for the year? How will you get there?
Pick People For Success
January 3, 2011 § 2 Comments
Image by Noodles and Beef via Flickr
“Surround yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those who work hard and play hard.”
– Colin Powell
Last week, Wendy discussed the concept of an internal board of directors – roles for personal governance to complement our own strengths and weaknesses.
When I read Wendy’s blog and then saw Powell’s words, it was natural to complement her thoughts by focusing on the importance of identifying others who’ll be important in reaching our goals and dreams.
The quote from the former U.S. Secretary of State is certainly applicable to the workplace. I also see a greater message in it. And that is that we should seek to associate ourselves with people who can help us be successful whether at the office, in our volunteer activities or on a personal level.
It might be that these people will work hand-in-hand with us on a project or toward a goal or help us by being supportive in some other way.
As we move into a new year, many of us will make resolutions.
If so, we’d do well to contemplate who in our lives is supportive of what we want to accomplish. Do we need to reach out and find other like-minded people to bolster our success? Should we nurture existing relationships further? Is it possible we’re around people who don’t believe in what we’re doing or are simply negative in general?
I don’t make resolutions. When I focus on one or two things to improve upon and don’t reach those targets, I dwell on the ensuing disappointment. A year ago, I simply stated that I would put the ‘10’ in 2010. In other words, I would make it the best year yet.
While I knew not every part of my life would necessarily improve, I was confident my attitude would ensure a great year over all.
Part of that was re-focusing on how people with similar values and outlooks are instrumental in fostering positive energy. Those vibes feed off each other, like flames building towards an inferno. Likewise, I’m sure you’ve noticed that negative people are like cancers in the workplace or other parts of your life.
I led a rich life prior to this year – well, except for still waiting for that lottery win to occur – but I realized how easy it is to take your eye off the prize when you allow yourself to be distracted by disruptive individuals and undesirable situations.
Once I refocused, wouldn’t you know it but new opportunities arose almost immediately. For example, the concept for a book emerged along with some people who will help me make it happen. I developed some other positive friendships that will lead to other goals being met.
Co-writing this blog with Wendy continues to inspire me. Exchanging ideas regularly with someone who’s equally driven toward a goal is motivating.
I’ve also contemplated the Powell quote in terms of the workplace. It dovetails with a thought I’ve long had – that if I were starting a new company, I’d recruit an all-star team of colleagues, based on their values, ethics, passion, energy, and desire to achieve.
Oh yes, they know how to work their asses off. Like me, they just like to have fun doing it.
I’ve always hired on the basis of skill being about 20 per cent of the equation and the rest hinging on attitude, flexibility, customer service, teamwork, and willingness to learn. There are things I can teach – like how to write more effectively. I have no desire to take the time to try to transform a negative outlook into a positive one in a busy work environment.
As a long-time volunteer, I’ve also related Powell’s quote to that sector. Who hasn’t seen their child’s team embroiled in politics when everyone says they are there for the good of the kids? On the other hand, a group of hard-working, devoted volunteers can outdistance a fundraising goal.
The challenge is that we seldom get to pick who we work with in our employment and volunteer lives. Therefore, it’s important to gravitate to those with the comparable goals and feed off each other’s energy and commitment.
So, considering the achievements you want to see in 2011, do you need to make any changes to your team?
Who’s your A-team?
December 20, 2010 § 3 Comments
Image via Wikipedia
Every big company has a board of directors to give it direction. Companies are selective about who is on the board and the qualifications they have for being there. The day-to-day operations are left to the employees, but the big decisions can’t be made without input and approval from the board. This can sometimes seem like a long and cumbersome process, but the board is there to ensure the long-term success of the company.
What difference would it make in our own lives if we consciously chose our own board of directors? What positions would you have available and who would you choose to fill them?
Unlike a formal board, each of us can create our own unique combination of roles for personal governance to complement our strengths and weaknesses. You retain ultimate veto power over the board’s decisions. That being said, you also have complete control over who has the authority to give you advice you’ll trust.
My own board of directors would have the following positions:
Chair – The Chair is the one responsible for all decisions made at the end of the day. This position requires the utmost faith, confidence and trust in the person’s ability to lead and make the right choice for your overall success. Ideally, the Chair is you.
Director, Grounding & Good Sense – The primary function of the Director, Grounding & Good Sense is to call your bullshit and keep you on track. He/she knows when you’re making excuses and isn’t afraid to give you the kick in the butt you need to set you back on the road to success. It’s this person’s advice you seek at the beginning of an idea to help you outline a path and the obstacles you may face.
Director, Dreams & Unlimited Potential – This position is here to keep you afloat in those times when ‘reality’ has taken a bite out of your confidence. This person already knows you can do what you set out to do, and reminds you of this when you aren’t so sure. Consultation should happen with this Director when a creative solution is required for a problem or when you’ve heard the word ‘can’t’ one too many times.
Director, Slack – Sometimes you’ve been working towards something for so long and so hard that you just need somebody to cut you some slack. Everyone else is pushing and supporting you, you can’t let go of your goals and you’re striving for the stars, but it’s one of those moments when you’ve got a lot of balls in the air and your arms are getting really, really tired. This person will either step in to take over while your arms rest, or help you lighten the load for a while… ie cut you some slack. It is wise to seek counsel with this Director before you qualify as ‘burnt out’, but often times this happens post burn out.
Director, Special Projects – The role of this position is one of those ‘other duties as required’ kind of things. It’s for that person who just seems to be a great go-to person in all kinds of situations when the skills of the other members of the board just don’t seem to fit.
The board doesn’t necessarily need 5 different people to fill each role. Maybe it’s just one other person, or maybe you have multiple people who play this part for you in different situations. But identifying those ‘go-to’ people in your life helps you recognize your own strengths and weaknesses and those of your closest network of people.
Have you ever thought about your board of directors? What positions would you have and who would fill them?
In the pursuit of happiness…
December 7, 2010 § 4 Comments
Image via Wikipedia
Happiness is the one thing we all want and the one thing many of us spend much of our time trying to find. We make changes to ourselves, our relationships and our surroundings in the hope that these will unlock more of that magical place that we sometimes get to experience in a moment here, and another there. A haircut, a new pair of shoes, rearranging the living room furniture, changing jobs, even changing friends or partners. Though hard decisions to make sometimes, these are nothing more than our attempts–no matter how graceful or clumsy–at fulfilling ourselves the best way we know how to (or don’t).
I’ve spent the past few weeks reflecting on the rest of this year. I’d have to say 2010 has been one of my biggest years. And in it, I’ve found my space in which to be happy. That hasn’t come without its trials and tribulations. I didn’t find my spot without some people coming into my life, others leaving it and some sticking around for the whole adventure. I also never would have found it if I hadn’t been willing to work through the bits that kept me tethered with equal gusto to the parts that helped me fly.
I’ve discovered that long-term happiness isn’t found in a moment, but is made up of our friends, family, coworkers and experiences. It’s a continual state of being that we only recognize when we have the other end of the spectrum to compare it to.
Often, we create our own roadblocks when we lack the openness and confidence to climb as high as we may have fallen. But the ups and the downs are what give us a foundation to connect with one another on. It’s those ups and downs that help us grow, and give us a richness and depth to life that we cannot get elsewhere.
So really, happiness is not something we find, but something we experience. It has as much to do with what happens within us as it does with what happens around us. And so, the responsibility of our happiness falls on no-one’s shoulders but our own. The question then is: Are you happy? And if you aren’t, what are you doing about it?
What’s Your Personal Brand?
November 29, 2010 § 3 Comments
Image via Wikipedia
I have been thinking a lot about brands professionally and on a personal level over the last few months.
As Manager of Marketing and Communications with the City of Grande Prairie, I am leading the initiative that will give our community an official brand for the first time ever early in 2011. A brand is not to be confused with a logo and slogan. These are the visual identity elements that represent the brand.
A brand is what people say about you as an organization, community or individual.
A consultant determined that Grande Prairie has an innovative culture. This was supported in October when the Canadian Federation of Independent Business declared Grande Prairie to be the most entrepreneurial community in the country. In 2009, we were Number 2. Our community also has a significant number of patents for our population. The ‘can-do’ spirit is pervasive in Grande Prairie.
A brand is something that is unique and enduring. Edmonton calling itself the City of Champions does not fit the current reality.
Likely as a result of my work with the City, I began contemplating the whole realm of personal brands.
This past week, the professional hockey world lost Pat Burns, a well-regarded former coach, to cancer.
Resoundingly, he was known as a hard-nosed but fair coach with a heart of gold. He had a reputation for building winning teams wherever he went and his three coach of the year awards – with Montreal, Toronto and Boston – proved that out. Burns was the first NHL coach to accomplish that feat. He also was a Stanley Cup winner with New Jersey.
His toughness carried over to his personal life – his latest bout with cancer was his third. He had beat colon and liver cancer but when the disease spread to his lungs, it was fatal.
I am not sure what Pat Burns would have thought about his own personal brand.
“For those who know me well, I’ve never backed down from any fight, and I’m not going to back down from this one,” he said after first learning he had the dreaded disease.
If anyone pitied him, Burns had this to say after it was determined his cancer had reached a terminal stage: “As for my career, I always said to my kids, ‘you don’t cry because it’s over, you’re happy because it happened.’ That’s the main thing. I’m happy it happened.”
Ironically, in the same week as Burns passed away, Tiger Woods was coming up to the year since he crashed his Escalade outside his home, opening up the floodgate of events that would reveal his repeated infidelity and end his marriage.
We were hearing how Woods is happier than ever, thanks to his two children. I saw in the media how he is said to love activities like bathing them and making macaroni and cheese.
What is the legendary golfer’s personal brand? I don’t think using his kids for PR will help him rehabilitate his image.
Perception becomes reality and it will take a long time for people to believe that Tiger is truly a great family guy. Whether he is or is not is none of my business. All I am saying is that once your brand is something you don’t want, it is difficult to change.
Similarly, if Britney Spears suddenly adopted a girl-next-door image, how seriously would she be taken?
On the other hand, Toyota has suffered corporate challenges over malfunctioning brakes and gas pedals in recent years, yet I don’t know a Toyota owner or former purchaser who wouldn’t buy a vehicle from the automaker. I almost did recently.
That goes to show that if you have managed your brand well over time, particularly as a corporate entity, people are more likely to be prepared to stand by you.
On a personal level, I think of myself as a hard-working, fun-loving and caring individual who would do anything for family and friends. If people don’t perceive those characteristics to be true, then that’s not my personal brand.
What image do you think you portray? What is your personal brand? Are they the same?
I leave you with this quote from Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu: “Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.”
Reconnecting
November 15, 2010 § 1 Comment
Image via Wikipedia
I grew up in a dysfunctional family where I was disconnected with many uncles, aunts, cousins and second cousins. That was, in addition, to the internal strife.
Since becoming an adult, I’ve always found that my better friends became closer than family. I never really made an effort to reconnect with any relatives, located mostly in B.C. and Alberta and the Western United States.
However, about five years ago, I made an exception to my rule. I followed my curiosity and, this summer, brought my sleuthing on an impromptu family search to a happy conclusion. No sweat for a former newspaper reporter. Ironically, it is Joyce who is the genealogist in the family.
It all started when I Googled myself. I do this every once in a while to see how articles or information containing my name appear on the World Wide Web since I am routinely quoted in the media. Also, there is a David Olinger at the Denver Post. I have never connected with him, but since he’s a journalist, I like to follow the trail of the scribe with the same name.
As I was scrolling down through the entries on this one occasion, I came across the name Kelley Olinger in Victoria, B.C. I was intrigued by this name since there are many Olingers in Southern B.C., particularly the Okanagan. However I couldn’t remember seeing the name Kelley.
So, I dug a little deeper and discovered that Kelley is a real estate agent in Victoria. I sent a note via email just to see if she could be part of my extended clan, particularly in Kelowna.
Sure enough, she is cousin Peter Olinger’s daughter.
Kelley and I emailed back and forth several times and later connected via Facebook. Then when Joyce, Peter (our son) and I moved to Grande Prairie in 2007, there was always a greater chance we would get to the West Coast in the not-too-distant future. Kelley long ago suggested that if we ever got over to the Island, we should look her up.
So, when we knew would be going to Vancouver Island in August, we followed up on that invitation. We met for a lovely lunch in Victoria.
It was during that encounter that Kelley reminded me that she had located her father’s birth mother through Facebook a couple of years ago.
As a result, Kelley facilitated a reunion in Edmonton and the families continue to correspond. It also closed chapters for both mother and son. As well, Kelley now has more family background for medical purposes.
It was a terrific story that would never have been possible without technology. In fact, my connection with Kelley would likely not have occurred without Google and my curiosity about my own name.
I have no idea what prompted me to reach out and enquire specifically as to Kelley’s connection with me. God knows, there are closer relatives than a second cousin I could have tracked down. Family dysfunction does that to you. Someone has to make the first move.
It just seemed right at the time. I am glad I did. Kelley is, too. After our visit, she offered to be our tour guide if we returned to Vancouver via Victoria. With balmy conditions in Parksville, however, we stayed extra time there and returned to the mainland via Nanaimo.
Next time, Second Cuz!
Making connections with long-lost family is a tricky business. Certainly, it was a lot more challenging for Kelley to connect her father with his birth mother. There is always the fear that they don’t care to be reunited. In my case, Kelley had never heard of me until consulting with her parents when I first contacted her. I could have been some wacko.
Having gone through the experience and hearing the story of Kelley’s family, I would certainly encourage anyone with the urge to reconnect to long-lost relatives to do so. Sure, you might get turned away. But looking at the cup half-full, you are more likely to be opening up a whole new world to yourself.
Go ahead, hop on the phone or get typing!
Home is Where You Hang Your Hat
November 3, 2010 § 4 Comments
Image via Wikipedia
In January 2009, Bruce Springsteen released an uplifting song called Working on a Dream. I thought of it recently as I reached another milestone on my own wish list – to travel to every part of Canada.
I am getting there but there is much more to see and do in this vast land. After all, it is the second largest country in the world. There is no shortage of diversity from sea to sea to sea!
You could fit the United Kingdom into Canada almost 40 times! There are more than 100 languages spoken here.
I’ve travelled to six provinces, and lived in three, but have not ventured east of Quebec. I had yet to find my way north of the 60th parallel until just recently.
Thanks to having the opportunity to attend Prospects North, a business and trade conference, on behalf of the City of Grande Prairie, I travelled to Yellowknife, Northwest Territories in mid October. It was a wonderful experience though there was precious little time to explore as much as Brian Glavin, our Economic Development Officer, and I would’ve liked .
Still, Yellowknife reminded me in ways of Grande Prairie in that it has the bustle associated with a regional service centre and seems larger than it really is. Did you know that Yellowknife, with a population of 20,000, is the only city in the Northwest Territories?
I also couldn’t help but think of Northern Ontario and its rocky terrain and lakes.
Yellowknife is known as the Diamond Capital of North America.
I was taken by the warmth and friendliness of the locals and the sense of contentment people had living there and in other northern communities.
As with Grande Prairie, many residents hadn’t intended on staying long upon arrival in Yellowknife or Whitehorse, Yukon, but have become attached to these places.
Actually, 2010 has been a year of rediscovering old favourites and exploring new destinations.
It all started in April when I attended the Alberta Municipal Communicators’ Group meeting in High River, where I had never visited. It is located just south of Calgary.
Former Canadian Prime Minister Joe Clark hails from the town of 11,000. W.O. Mitchell, author of Who Has Seen the Wind? and other renowned Canadian literary gems also called the town home.
Joyce accompanied me on the trip and we enjoyed wonderful hospitality, including a recommendation we stay an extra day and hang out for the evening at Carlson’s on McLeod, a well-known local watering hole and entertainment spot.
That was well worth it.
We got to hear Bruce Innes of Original Caste fame play a variety of folk, blues and jazz tunes with support from local guitarist Julian Kerr. The Original Caste is known for two hits – One Tin Soldier and Mr. Monday.
The next day, it was off to Canmore to visit my brother, Bob, and family.
I’m always up for a suggestion for the road less travelled. Several people recommended we take the back roads through some lovely, breathtaking, rolling terrain.
So, off we went through Black Diamond, Bragg Creek and other small towns and villages surrounded by wide open spaces. I can see why artisans of all types are inspired and thrive in places like this.
Joyce had not been to Canmore in many years and it was an opportunity for us to enjoy the mountains on the way home via the Icefield Parkway, Jasper and Grande Cache.
In June, I attended the Canadian Public Relations Society Conference in Regina. I had never stopped in Saskatchewan’s capital on my way back and forth across the country.
On my way to the hotel on the day the event started, I couldn’t help but notice the legendary crazy Roughrider fans getting all whooped up. It was an exhibition game that afternoon. I can only imagine what it would be like during the regular season.
During the conference, I enjoyed a visit to the RCMP headquarters and was also pleased to see how the former train station had been transformed into the casino.
In August, we had a chance to visit Richmond, B.C., where I attended college. Seattle, Washington was new to me and Parksville, B.C., which is one of our favourite vacation destinations of all time.
Not far away is Englishman River Falls ↼a fabulous provincial campground where we stayed several days on our last trip to Vancouver Island, 23 years ago. This was far too long an absence, particularly, for people who had once talked about retiring to Vancouver Island.
We delighted in taking photos along the river and the many other spots for photo ops within the park ⇀only this time, they were all digital images, on Joyce’s camera and my Blackberry.
Next June, the Canadian Public Relations Society Conference is in Saint John, New Brunswick.
That will be my first foray into the East Coast.
My brother-in-law, Dave, has taught at the University of New Brunswick in Fredericton for many years and yet we never made it there while living in Ontario for 20 years. We will make it there faster by living in Alberta!
We plan to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary while there.
When I reflect on these travels, I can’t help be struck by how different people view the country. Many will wonder how others would find themselves staying in places like Yellowknife, Whitehorse, Grande Prairie and other communities away from the bright lights and action.
The fact is, though, home is where you hang your hat. What attracts residents of Yellowknife may not appeal to those in Edmonton. Some will be content in Alberta’s capital city but not in Toronto.
I am eager to continue exploring my homeland. It really does have something for everyone. Should you be looking in from another country, come see what I mean.
If you are in Canada, join me in celebrating what we have!
A quick thanks for traditions
October 12, 2010 § 3 Comments
Image via Wikipedia
They say that if you repeat something for three consecutive years, it qualifies as a tradition.
My Aunt Verna reminded me this year that it was my seventh consecutive Thanksgiving with them since 2004. I think that more than qualifies my visits out near Swift Current, Saskatchewan as tradition.
For a while now I’ve been trying to find my place in an ever shifting family scene. Wherever I can find a constant, I cling to it. As it turns out, Thanksgiving with my dad’s family is a big one.
No major holiday is ever complete without a full spread of food. From salads, to the main course, and then onto desserts, a Peters’ table is always full and a Peters’ stomach often left bursting at the seams. Thanksgiving is no exception. A turkey big enough to feed a dozen or more people and still leave leftovers, followed up with ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, carrots, at least five different kinds of salads and finished with six different kinds of pies (chocolate, banana cream, pumpkin, coconut, apple and lemon meringue), yes sir, nobody at that table leaves hungry.
We always spend a large part of Saturday preparing all of the food for Sunday’s big dinner. Vegetables are chopped, salads are made, fresh buns make their way out of the oven.
Saturday evening, my cousins and I spend making turkey hats. We started out with just newspaper hats that we painted one year and called Thanksgiving Hats. We’re now on our fifth generation hat and each year we expand on the concept. One year we even had real feathers.
A large part of the weekend is also dedicated to kittens. Being that we’re out in the country, there are a few farm cats around and there are always at least a few kittens for us to track down and play with. It’s a wonder I haven’t come home with any yet.
When Monday morning rolls around and it’s time to think about heading home, I get in line with my cousins for a share in the leftovers first. We take turns dishing out what’s left of the food into containers to feed us in the coming days. I even bring my own tupperware.
Tradition gives us something to anchor ourselves to, and another piece of life that we can begin to identify with. For that, and for the people who are a part of my traditions, I am thankful. Because each piece becomes a building block in my life, both to build from and to build toward.
What traditions do you look forward to? And how do they help shape your life?
davidolinger
Wendy Peters & David Olinger
Wendy Peters
The Muse and Views 