Balancing Wants And Needs
January 16, 2012 § 2 Comments
Kids these days!
That phrase that every generation uses came to mind when my friend Rita remarked on Facebook that, “Nine-year-olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Facebook account. When I was nine, I felt cool with my new markers.”
In fact, I have heard people in their 20s utter the opening remark I did in reference to their teenager counterparts. We have a tendency to compare ourselves to previous cohorts.
My friend’s statement was amusing on one hand but also provided pause for thought.
It sounded a lot like the age-old adage from my parents’ generation. You know the one. “We had to walk 10 miles to school uphill both ways in bare feet at 40 below.”
On the other, it’s very true we have increasingly changed kids’ expectations as to what they have, what they want and what they need – and at what age. Many children now think it’s a must they will have all the above-mentioned gadgetry and more.
I certainly can see the merits of nine-year-olds having a simple cell phone for safety sake and a computer relevant to their capacity to use one. As for the rest of the “stuff” most kids have now, the more we heap on them, the more they expect.
There’s a general tendency to feel entitled and, therefore, largely ungrateful.
One of the other commenters on my friend’s post mentioned that when she was age nine she “went outside and did stuff.”
Another remarked that she amused herself doing wheelies with her roller blades.
Rita chimed back in with this ditty: I used to tape my favourite songs from the top 30 countdown each week by putting my tape recorder right up to my radio speaker and shushing everyone around me to shut up and not make any noise cuz they would ruin my recording of “Hurts so Good” by John Cougar!!! Good times, people! Let’s hold onto those memories no matter how digital our world gets!!
Times were simpler when I grew up, too, and we certainly learned how to entertain ourselves, often outside. In my own case, it was at a time when there was only one television channel and only a handful of radio stations from which to choose.
The first cassette and record players I used belonged to my parents. At age nine, I was collecting hockey cards as a hobby. I have a stamp collection somewhere in storage. In this age of electronic age, there are likely kids who have no idea what the postal system does.
The once-popular Etch-a-Sketch would be considered an antique. It’s the latest version of Xbox that’s a must.
As my son, Peter, was growing up, we tried to find a balance. Every year, he received the latest NHL game for our desktop computer, a far departure from the tabletop game we had as kids, though we also bought one of these “old fashioned” devices for he and I to use.
We learned early on that after Christmas, a lot of the things he’d received became clutter as he concentrated on the few favourite gifts. We also determined that there would be no point of buying the fanciest compact disc player because he had a penchant for dropping them on the swimming pool deck during swim meets.
We still have his dinosaur collection, his Harry Potter books and plastic tubs of Lego.
I don’t want to come across as a curmudgeon. In today’s workplace, mastering technology is a must so young people need to arrive confident and adept with the latest electronic bells and whistles.
However, it’s incumbent on parents to recognize there’s a balance to be reached at Christmas and other gift-giving occasions.
While the job site will expect you can handle the technological side of the work, your employer will also expect you will be able to work collaboratively with others, to communicate effectively verbally and in written form, to deal with people from a variety of backgrounds, and to be able to work independently and as part of a team.
This means the most adaptable people are still those who can think for themselves, the ones who know how to deal with people face-to-face and individuals who can appreciate the simpler things in life, even if that’s enjoying a book on the latest electronic reading device.
I would encourage parents to consider just how much their kids need and whether what they’re purchasing is age appropriate. Consider taking them to live theatre at an early age so they gain an appreciation of entertainment that doesn’t require multi-million dollar budgets and computer-generated imagery.
Look for opportunities for them to learn without them realize they are doing so.
As always, it’s about seeking balance between wants, needs and what is desirable.
The Muse and Views 
Our son writes thankyou cards for his gifts. At first I wrote them, then I wrote what he told me to write and he would sign his name, and now at almost 8years old,he writes a very beautiful thank you all by himself. It makes me proud of him, and his grandparents love it.
The topics for your blogs are always interesting, David, and often resonate with me. Your comments are accurate, when reflecting on kids today (and how they grew up in contrast to us): “We have a tendency to compare ourselves to previous cohorts.”
As you noted, our parents’ generation made claims of walking to school 10 miles, uphill both ways and in bare feet in 40 below weather – Ha! So, they say. I’ll just bet they did. They did have things rougher overall, though, I can agree with that.
Our generation has grown up with more modern conveniences than our own parents did, and you recognized that our own kids have access to even more advanced technology. We have even changed expectations for kids today, who, you noted, who often feel a need to have the latest tech gear.
Safety issues come into play, of course, as you spoke of 9-year-olds with simple cell phones. It’s sort of like the book, “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…” Inevitably they long for more. There are electronic wrist-band step counters available in the market today that are geared toward kids. I wonder when we were kids, how many steps we took roaming through the neighborhood, back alleys and the Bear Creek ravine. We didn’t have a need for step counters then.
There may be a time and a place for some kids to make efficient use out of such a device in today’s typically more sedentary times for kids, but for most kids, it should not be necessary to wear if a basic balance of activity is achieved. It can also have a detrimental impact on kids, with the rise of anorexia/bulimia with today’s social pressures to be ‘thin.’
I spoke to my Aunt last week, who sent my daughter some beautiful hand crocheted scarves that she hand-crafted. She asked me if I crocheted. I confessed that I didn’t, and that I fear it may become a dying art form one day. She inquired, “What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?” It sounded silly to tell her that I enjoy spending free moments at the computer and browsing the internet, but it’s true! Put a spool of yarn in front of me and I might make a Barbie scarf but place a laptop in my hands and I have more wisdom and knowledge than I can shake a stick at!
Kids today thirst for instantaneous knowledge. Back in our day, we had our ‘Funk and Wagnalls Encyclopedias’ and were blessed to not to have to go to the local public library to research topics for school reports. I worked on ‘Cheetah’ reports for as long as teachers would allow me to write them, based on facts from the encyclopedias, which quickly grew out-dated. I remember how I didn’t like knowing something should have been up-dated. On paper, you can’t bring it up to speed unless you can afford the next reprint, which takes (too much) time and money. Today’s kids have knowledge that is instantaneous.
There is, however, a HUGE downfall to this vast knowledge. They must learn to filter out what is authentic. The ‘Snopes’ website can help, but many kids don’t recognize the large degree of false information published on the internet. They may not think to check out whether something is fictitious. I’ve talked to my kids to discuss that there are articles that are filled with sensationalism/fear-mongering/propaganda ‘information’, that seem to exist primarily to raise controversy or to give kudos to the writer. In past years when we were kids, bad press would simply be bad. In today’s world, it can help to raise ratings, etc., for products, websites, authors and more, depending on the amount of press and controversy generated from it.
Life was simpler, for sure, as you explained when you brought forth your own memories:
“We certainly learned how to entertain ourselves, often outside. In my own case, it was at a time when there was only one television channel and only a handful of radio stations from which to choose.”
I agree, kids can feel entitled nowadays, and these are good points that you acknowledged:
“We learned early on that after Christmas, a lot of the things he’d received became clutter as he concentrated on the few favourite gifts.”
And –
“We still have his dinosaur collection, his Harry Potter books and plastic tubs of Lego.”
Those are the cherished memories that are going to stick in Peter’s mind. The totally awesome, fun stuff. Not everything revolves around electronics and technological products! That’s hard for me to admit, but it is true.
The following shows that you have a clear understanding of what balance one should strive for:
“In today’s workplace, mastering technology is a must so young people need to arrive confident and adept with the latest electronic bells and whistles.”
Ever since social media originated, youth have been having more and more difficulties with the following areas that you touched on, which are often needed in today’s work force:
“The ability to work collaboratively with others, to communicate effectively verbally and in written form, to deal with people from a variety of backgrounds, and to be able to work independently and as part of a team.”
Your thoughts merit discussion: “If today’s kids are handed everything by way of electronics and allowed full usage of the internet and social media, will they still turn out to be individuals who can be adaptable”, and as you questioned, “who can think for themselves, the ones who know how to deal with people face-to-face and individuals who can appreciate the simpler things in life?”
Your personal balance shows that you are open minded, and you understand that it may even include enjoying a book on an E-reader. And of course, an up-to-date hockey game for the PC!
You offer solid advice and conclude your article without judging or chastising parents:
“I would encourage parents to consider just how much their kids need and whether what they’re purchasing is age appropriate. Consider taking them to live theatre at an early age so they gain an appreciation of entertainment that doesn’t require multi-million dollar budgets and computer-generated imagery. Look for opportunities for them to learn without them realize they are doing so. As always, it’s about seeking balance between wants, needs and what is desirable.”
Live theatre does provide the perfect avenue for live entertainment. It engages the mind, the soul, the creativeness and spirit of ‘who’ a child is. It is something that parent and child can equally enjoy. That is a perfect example of an incredible learning experience for them, where it doesn’t feel like a lesson.
The best things in life really are free, and you just can’t put a price on them: Family, Love, Friendship, and – time spent together. Balancing wants and needs can be a challenging but worth-while endeavor.