On The Quest For Purpose
March 8, 2021 § 2 Comments
We’ve been writing in this space for nearly 11 years to develop content for an inspirational/motivational book(s) and that remains our focus. There haven’t been many posts in the last couple of years. That’s not because we’ve run out of topics. Far from it.
We’ve both found ourselves wrapped up in life but it’s also a sign there’s ample material to do more than one book, an online publication – or both.
As a way of getting back on track for 2021 and moving towards our goal, we’ve decided to compose our first blog together. We’ve written many complementary pieces and commented on each other’s posts, but we’ve never actually co-authored a blog.
In this post, we’ll discuss knowing your purpose. In the past, we’ve touched on purpose in a couple of different ways, including the concept of living with purpose.
What made you want to write a blog about finding your purpose?
D: It was the quote below that caught my eye and prompted me to suggest to Wendy we write about purpose together. It really resonated with me, partly because it contains my first name but mostly it reflects how I see myself living.
“Work for a cause David, not for applause.
Remember to live your life to express, not to impress, don’t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.”
― Grace Lichtenstein, Inside Real Estate: The Complete Guide to Buying and Selling Your Home, Co-Op, or Condominium
It’s not clear who the David is that’s being referenced, but it had me reflecting, once again, on what my role is in life.
W: For me, I’m at a stage in my life where I feel like I’m redefining my purpose. Back in 2014, I departed on the journey of a lifetime. I took a two-year sabbatical and travelled across 18 countries. It was something on my bucket list for much later in life, but a very big goal that I had geared most of my efforts towards preparing for. Having the opportunity to accomplish it 30 years before I intended, coupled with the experiences I had and people I met along the way, left me with some pretty big questions to answer when I got home. Amongst them being, “Why am I here? What is my purpose?”
Purpose is a big topic and takes on varying meanings for different people. What does it mean to you?
D: For me, purpose is having an influence on other people and events to improve situations, better lives. Coming to terms with that has helped me to understand relationships and why things happen in the way they do. It doesn’t always make negative outcomes easier but it can help you move forward, guide you on what to do next and help you determine what you should do to meet goals.
W: I think there are two sides to the meaning of purpose, or rather a more physical purpose versus one’s sense of purpose. You can do something on purpose, meaning intentional, and you can do something with purpose, meaning on point and aligned with your values, aspirations and overall direction in life.
How do you know when you’re on your purpose? What do you do if you feel like you’ve wandered or fallen away from it?
D: I’ve come to realize that I’m a mentor, someone who encourages others to do their best, to consider all the possibilities and to make the most of opportunities, whether it’s as a parent, a husband, a supervisor, a colleague or as a volunteer leader. I’m meant to be a supporter on the home front, in business and in the community – getting behind important causes and lending my skills where they best fit.
On a professional level, that means being a storyteller, whether it’s doing a feature story on an individual or helping an organization shine.
I’m here to be a positive spirit, motivating others to look at the brighter side of life, to connect people and build community.
Ultimately, my purpose is to leave the world in a better place than I found it.
It’s been increasingly easy to identify my purpose by recognizing when I’m not living it –those times when I get drawn into toxicity in online discussions or conversations with people who know they can set me off in person – and do if I’m not careful.
W: I have some very physical/emotional responses I look for to help guide me to ensuring I’m on purpose, especially right now while I’m still defining and refining my direction, the impact I want to make and what I want my life to mean. When I relax more, when something or someone makes me smile instantaneously, when my eyes light up at a suggestion – these are all the tell-tale signs I use to show me I’m on point. I guess you could boil it down to following my bliss. Being on purpose means doing the things and spending time with the people who make me feel the best.
When I’ve wandered off from or fallen away from my purpose, I can feel the discord. I feel tense, uncertain, untrusting, and lost.
How do you find your purpose if you’ve lost it? What advice would you give others seeking their purpose?
D: When I recognize I’m off purpose, I remind myself I’m of more value when I’m aligned with like-minded people, working toward a common goal or finding a new volunteer opportunity. My advice is to take a step back when you feel off and re-evaluate. Even small things like taking my dog for a walk in the middle of the day clears my mind and I’m refocused on what’s important.
W: When I’m feeling off my purpose, I feel awful. That’s when a self-care day often comes into play where I can take some time to step back and breath, pinpoint what’s going wrong. I don’t try and make a plan to change it though. I’ve learned that once I pinpoint the source of what’s pulling me off purpose, I look back for the things and people that make me feel on purpose.
Like David, reminding myself of my value and what characteristics help me align with other like-minded people is especially helpful. If I’m too overwhelmed or distraught by something to get there, I quite literally start with a nap followed by 10-15 minutes of meditation and then some journaling to help me process whatever is going on in my head and give me some much needed perspective to get back on track.
You get more of what you focus on, right?
Can you have more than one purpose? Or does your purpose change? How do you support that?
D: I’ve reflected on my own purpose as life has changed, from being a husband and father to job changes, individual and team successes, accolades and awards, operating a communications firm, volunteering, and living life, in general.
In more recent years, I’ve had a renewed sense of accomplishing my purpose. When I relaunched my communications consultancy in 2018, some of my initial employees in the late 1990s and early 2000s passed along congratulations and reminded me I’d hired them for their first jobs. They shared their gratitude for giving them a chance.
There’s been great joy in imparting career and life advice to our son and encouraging my wife to pursue greater heights in her pottery hobby.
W: I do think it’s possible to have more than one purpose, but I think they’ll have varying degrees of importance. I think, generally, people have one main purpose (or theme) for what they want their life to be about and then other, more specific purposes come in to play to support that. “Sub-purposes” to play on David’s love of storytelling.
For some people, I think they’ve been blessed with a strong sense of purpose that stays with them their entire lives. For others, I think our purpose changes as we change and grow. I know I resonate more with the latter. My purpose continues to evolve as I deepen my understanding of myself and what I’m capable of.
Supporting an evolving definition of my purpose is literally like trying to make sure the pants I bought 10 years ago still fit… or acknowledging that it’s time for a new pair. It’s, at minimum, having an overall goal or theme for my life and then making my plan of action each day or week to check in to make sure it stills fits. If it doesn’t feel right anymore, I need to determine if I’m off track or if it doesn’t fit and choose my next steps accordingly.
My purpose setting is not like goal setting where it should be quantifiable and measurable. If a person wants to make it that way, that’s up to them. But for me, I feel my way forward where my purpose is concerned and my only requirement is that whatever my decision, it feels good to me. This also requires a good degree of surrender and self-compassion because it’s a continual work in progress and I don’t think it’s one that ever ends.
What are the benefits of having a strong purpose? How about the dangers of not having one?
D: It helps me live with focus and to get back on track when I’ve gotten derailed. Businesses and organizations having values, vision and mission statements by which to live and it’s good to have a compass.
W: Purpose gives me a guiding light to live my life and make decisions by. Much like David, knowing my purpose helps me find the right organizations to work with to ensure I’m doing work I feel good about and identify the kinds of people I want to spend more time with.
I don’t know that everyone feels the same need for a strong sense of purpose. I’m someone who needs to connect into a bigger meaning to find my reason to get out of bed in the morning. Without a strong sense of purpose, I think I run the risk that when I get to the end of my life I’ll look back at it and think, “What a waste.” I want to feel like I have juiced every bit of human experience I can while I’m here.
What about you? If any of the questions above resonate for you to answer, add them to our discussion in the comments below!
The Muse and Views 
Good afternoon, David,
I wanted to send you a personal response but do not have your email address. I went to linked in but did not find your profile.
Cecile Somme
We are connected on Linkedin still. I checked yesterday but my email address is david@writestuffpr.ca